Will My Ex Boyfriend Come Back? 10 Reasons He May Or May Not

Are you currently experiencing a tough breakup? Are you wondering if your boyfriend will come back to be with you again? Are you constantly asking your friends, “Will my ex boyfriend come back?

You aren’t alone in asking these questions. They are common, especially during a particularly challenging breakup. Breakups are not always easy to navigate, which is why I put this together for you. I wanted you to know what to expect in a breakup so that you can process it healthily.

Reason He May Come Back: Your Love is Meant to Be

After a relationship comes to a close, you usually have plenty of time to sit around and just think. Many people find themselves here as they figure out what happened in their relationship.

Your ex boyfriend may be doing some thinking. You probably are too. You two—separately—are probably thinking about the highlights of your relationship, the worst fight you ever had, the way you felt with each other, and more.

He may be realizing that you two were meant to be together. This isn’t always the case, but now is the best time for him to realize it.

Now, you might know that this love was meant to last forever, but he may not know it. If he doesn’t reflect on the relationship and truly think about it, he won’t be able to come back as a result.

If he does give your relationship and its value some serious thought, there’s a chance he will find his way back to you to rekindle what was lost. If you’re meant to be, it won’t take long!

Reason He May Not Come Back: He Loves the Single Life

When you first get out of a relationship, you may feel weird. In the past, I’ve always had a hard time figuring out what to do and who I was. I had so much free time and got to do whatever I wanted to. This is especially common in long-term or serious relationships.

Your ex boyfriend may feel the same way. He may love being single and want to continue to be. He might have realized how much freedom he has when he’s single, so he may be avoiding relationships for a while.

His friends could influence this one too. If he has a bunch of single friends, it’s possible that they all go out together and enjoy being a fully single group. Nobody has to worry about their girlfriends.

Your ex boyfriend may not come back because he’s not ready to. If you were dating for a long time, he might have felt like he didn’t have this freedom. Of course, this depends on the relationship and its specifics.

If you know your ex boyfriend is single, you probably shouldn’t push it and try to get into a relationship with him. He may be enjoying being on his own.

Reason He May Come Back: He Realized How Lucky He Was to Have You

As your ex boyfriend is thinking over the relationship and how it ended, he may be noticing how lucky he was to have you in his life. A common practice after a relationship ends is reflection. We reflect on what went right and what went wrong in the relationship.

Your ex boyfriend could be having these realizations because he tried to get a new girlfriend, but she just wasn’t like you. He might have noticed how perfect the two of you were for each other.

Sometimes, when we’re in relationships, we don’t see how good we have it. Even the seemingly meaningless moments of grocery shopping or watching TV can be positive pieces of a relationship. You don’t always have to be at a fancy dinner.

He may end up coming back if he realizes how important those little, everyday moments with you were. He might regret leaving those things behind when the two of you broke up.

Reason He May Not Come Back: He Already Found Someone New

Some people jump into new relationships right after they get out of their old one. Your ex boyfriend may have done just that. If he’s not coming back, there are plenty of potential reasons. You shouldn’t assume he has a new girlfriend, but it’s a possibility.

Commonly, girls think that their boyfriends have cheated on them and that’s why they get into new relationships so quickly. This isn’t usually the case so you probably don’t have much to worry about.

Here’s a video that can help you with the feelings you might have about your ex boyfriend’s new relationship.

Though it can be hard to deal with, it’s normal for people to get into new relationships immediately after a breakup. It’s a part of the process for some people.

If your ex boyfriend doesn’t come back into your life, there’s a chance that it’s because of a new relationship. He may already be over you or may be trying to distract himself from the difficulty of the breakup.

Reason He May Come Back: His Friends Told Him He Messed Up

After a breakup, it’s common for people to talk to their friends about how it all went down. Your ex boyfriend may have spilled it all to his friends. This is a good way to cope and to work out your true feelings about the situation.

Your ex boyfriend might be talking to his friends just like you talk to yours. Friends can offer great relationship advice, especially if they’ve known you a while or are familiar with relationships.  

If your ex boyfriend did something wrong, his friends might help him to figure it out. They may offer advice or suggest that he apologizes to you.

In this case, you may find your ex boyfriend trying to get in touch with you again to work things out. If this happens, just use your best judgment. What you do just depends on the relationship and the breakup too.

His friends also might have told him that he never should have broken up with you to begin with. They might have reminded him of everything that he lost when he got out of the relationship.

Reason He May Not Come Back: He Can’t Make Up His Mind

Some guys are so back and forth on the girls that they date and break up with. This might be the truth for your ex boyfriend as well. He might be stuck in between a couple of different girls. He’s likely feeling a bunch of different emotions too.

Even if you’re the only girl on your ex boyfriend’s radar, he could be having a hard time deciding whether or not to stay with you. He may miss the relationship but not want to be in a relationship again.

After you and your ex boyfriend break up, he may be in and out of your life for a little while. He might want to try to make the relationship work or he may just give up completely.

Sometimes, ex boyfriends don’t come back because they can’t be 100% committed to the idea of being in your life again. He could avoid coming back so that he doesn’t confuse himself further.

Reason He May Come Back: He Wants to Make Sure You’re Okay

You may have gotten lucky and had a very caring and empathetic boyfriend. Sometimes these feelings can carry over after a breakup, which is why your ex boyfriend may come back.

Everybody knows that relationships are hard. Breakups are usually even harder. It’s a fact of life. Your ex boyfriend is going through many of the same emotions that you are. He may realize this and come back to support you.

Now, he may come back to actually be your boyfriend again. It’s more likely that he’s coming back to take care of you and help you out. He probably expects you to do the same for him.

Reason He May Not Come Back: It Ended in a Nasty Argument

If things ended on a bad note, you can’t really count on your ex boyfriend coming back. Usually, people will say things that they don’t really mean when they get into a fight. Insults that are said in the heat of an argument aren’t always forgiven.

If you said something pretty nasty as you were having one of your final fights, your ex boyfriend may not be coming back. The thing is that he remembers that exact situation and that’s how he thinks of the relationship ending. Does he want to come back and receive more insults?

Plus, he might think that you meant what you said and that you want nothing to do with him. If a relationship ends in a major fight or with yelling, it can be hard for someone to come back to that.

If he said something really mean in your last argument, he might feel bad coming back. He might think that coming back would remind you of the awful things he said to you.

At the same time, there is a slight chance he would talk to you in an attempt to receive an apology or to apologize to you. In most cases though, a bad fight is enough to keep an ex boyfriend at bay.

Reason He May Come Back: He Wants to Be Friends

Some relationships end on good enough terms that a friendship is possible. If this is the case for your recent breakup, your ex boyfriend might come back to try to be friends with you.

The main reason that people do this is that they don’t want to lose everything that they once had in their relationship. Having a friendship can simplify things and remove any issues that might have existed in the romantic relationship.

Of course, this friendship might be awkward. Given the nature of the friendship, it can be a little tricky to maintain the friendship. It will have different dynamics than your relationship did.

You might have some unresolved conflicts that existed in the relationship before.

If your ex boyfriend comes back into your life, you shouldn’t necessarily avoid a friendship. Just make sure you’re both comfortable with the friendship. If you still have some things to work out, you might need more time to get over the relationship before becoming friends.

Try to figure out your ex boyfriend’s intentions so that you know exactly what to expect from this new friendship.

Reason He May Not Come Back: He Never Loved You

This one is a little harsh, but it’s the truth. If your ex boyfriend doesn’t come back to you, it could be because he didn’t ever care about you or love you enough. He might not have had a strong emotional connection to you.

He might have been dating you for another reason. Maybe he just wanted to be in a relationship with someone. There are many personal reasons that could have caused a relationship without real love.

This is a hard realization to make. Now that he broke up with you, you are able to get into a relationship that is really meaningful. You won’t be stuck thinking that somebody loves you when they really don’t.

If you need some time to process this, it’s okay. There’s no reason to rush into a new relationship. When you’re ready, the right guy will be out there.

Maybe he stopped loving you part of the way through the relationship too. He probably just realized that he was losing the spark at this point.

If your ex boyfriend doesn’t love you, he may not come back into your life. This love could have been non-existent or tapered off at some point.


It’s hard to say whether your ex boyfriend will come back into your life or not. There are many reasons that it may or may not happen. Whatever does end up happening is for the best though! You will find love again.

If you have any questions that you would like us to answer, leave them in the comments section below.

Sonya Schwartz

A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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