Have you found yourself in a situation where your husband wants to share you with another man? And now you keep wondering “why does my husband want to share me?”
Before I veer into answering this question, there are few things I want to advert your mind to, and they are as follows: most people usually take wife-sharing to mean the same thing with wife-swapping, but this is totally wrong. Wife sharing and wife swapping are two different kettles of fish. The earlier means for instance where you and your husband agree to have sexual intimacy with another set of couples, and it doesn’t go beyond that. In the later, however, it goes beyond the sex. You and your husband exchange one another with the other couple to not only have sexual intimacy, but also with the intention to live like husband and wife, but this time temporarily.
Mike Hatcher’s of YourTango gives a clearer view about wife sharing. In his opinion, “ wife sharing is slightly different from a swinger's lifestyle. In wife sharing, more than one couple have sexual relationships with the wife of different couples.” 1
However, a few of the reasons below might be why your husband want to share you with another man.
- 1 Four Main Reasons Why Your Husband Might Want To Share You With Another Man
- 2 Other Reasons Why Men Do Engage In Wife Sharing
- 3 Top 5 Secrets Behind Wife-Sharing
- 4 Reasons Some Men Need To Share Their Wives With Other Men
- 5 Final words
Your husband might be the type that simply derives motivation and some other gratifications known to him when he sees other men making love with you. This is further elaborated in David Ley’s Why would you do that? (Watch your wife with another man), some men actually opened up to him, saying because their wives are beautiful, they would prefer watching them being made love to by another man than watching some porn actress they don’t know. 2
Enhancement of sexual performance:
Jealousy however little it may be that emanates from seeing one’s wife being sexed by another man can be used as a motivation or an improvement over the man’s sex life.
Christopher Ryan, author Terry Gould, and researchers Baker and Bellis corroborated this fact by saying that there is a biological reaction happening that affects a male sexual drive after watching their wife with another man. To them, the husband becomes excited biologically to have longer, and more breath-taken and fun-filled sex subsequently with their wife.
This point is further supported by NetCom in their Why swinging’s? the article where they said, “Sexual excitation increases for both partners as a result of the new types of sexual experiences and there are discussions of actual sexual experiences.” Apparently, this might be a few of the reasons your husband may want to share you with another man. 3
The pleasure of the taboo:
Your husband might want to see you fucked so hard by another man just for the thrill of breaking the traditional rule of marriage which provides sexual intercourse can be practiced by the husband and wife alone.
outside the purview of whoredom, the general belief is that a man who consistently sexes a woman automatically subjects himself to being financially responsible to the woman – at least for her welfare. This might be one of the reasons your husband may want to share you with another man- the monetary benefit that comes with it.
Psychology Today adds another twist to this fact. In their opinion, your husband might take this a bit farther by videotaping your sex adventure with the man he consented to share you with, with the surreptitious intention of blackmailing the later.
Other Reasons Why Men Do Engage In Wife Sharing
The practice of making cuckoldry:
Some men derive pleasure in not only seeing their wife being sexed by another man.These men don’t stop there. They feel the thrill more when the other man belittles them in the process.A typical example of a man in this category is Venus in Furs’s Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch, one of the 19th century’s popular erotic novelists. As stated by Psychology Today Masoch posted an advert in a German newspaper asking for energetic men to befriend his wife.
To compensate for physical health challenges:
Some men are down with lots of physical health problems, and this has resulted in their poor sexual or zero sexual performance with their wife. Most often, their wife is contented with this unfortunate situation, however, the man might feel the loss of this sexual satisfaction more than their wife; hence, the need to share her with another man to compensate her.
To suspend relationship boredom:
When a relationship has a long streak of monotonous undertone, there is every tendency that the partners would start losing interest in each other. In this light, for the purpose of avoiding that to happen, some men might decide to share their wife with another man.
Top 5 Secrets Behind Wife-Sharing
Increase the level of trust:
Although there are several reasons that could inform the decision of your husband to want to share you with another man, however, increase in the level of trust your husband holds for you doubles, as jealousy will have become less of an issue in your relationship with the practice of wife sharing, particularly when the intention of sharing you with another man is all about sexual intimacy.
Cures sexual insatiability:
Level of sex drive is relative and depends on factors such as age, the extent of stress exposed to, and relationship status says Emily of Greatist. However, we can’t disprove the fact that normally, we human beings tend not to get satisfied and tired of sex., but where the need for sex intensifies oddly in a man, going for varieties of sex partners appears to be one of the ways of controlling this development, and one of the ways to achieve this without leaving the thoughts of confrontation in the mind of any of the partners is the adoption of wife-sharing method. Mike Hatcher put this succinctly when he was explaining new experience with wife-sharing, his opinion goes thus: “if you opt to experiment with other people's wives, you get to learn new things. Also, you are able to share thoughts and body with someone else. In the end, you become much wiser and more open-minded.”
Elimination of infidelity issue:
We quite understand that in the traditional marriage, sex practice by any of the partners with anyone other than his or her partner is tantamount to cheating. But when partners could go out with a third party with his or her mind at rest and with no thoughts of being accused of cheating afterward, infidelity becomes less of an issue, and in turn, this development will reduce one of the grounds a marriage can break down irretrievably. 4
According to PandaGossips, the most relationship turns the opposite of a thrill of the chase when communication is missing in it. With wife-sharing, sexual practices lose its sacred feature, and its aspect of “something done in the dark” now takes on more of the narrative of a normal everyday activity; hence, it provides for an open discussion between married partners and enhances their communications for there is nothing left to hide.
It helps guide against STI:
Sexually transmitted infections are infections which can be contracted via sex as described by Pamf. However, OptionsforSexualHealth adds that not all conditions attributed to STI are sexually transmitted. Few examples of STI are Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Hepatitis A, B, C and so on. STIs have been described as infections life-threatening in most cases, and to consider that some of these infections are incurable, Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), one of the infections in this category which topples this list, is an understatement.
It has so far been observed that partners who practice wife sharing are less vulnerable to any of the Sexually Transmitted Infections because in most occasions these partners would have arranged for a meeting with the third parties, get to know one another, and discuss on how to have a safe sex adventure.
Several arguments have been posited by people, particularly those whose affiliation with religion and morality is inseparable. Wife-sharing appears to be an anti-social sex behavior to this group of people. Meanwhile, those with an open mind, those whose line of thought is scientific in nature don’t care with the submissions of the later as long as there are values to be derived from wife-sharing.
In the mist of all these polarized arguments, we will be looking into some of these discovered values wives sharing positions itself to offer couples who have decided to adopt it- reasons some men need to share their wives with other men.
Looking beyond the “sex had by a partner outside a legal marriage is a taboo”, we will discover that the level of socialization created when a husband shares her wife with another man cannot be realized in the regular traditional marriage because, in the wife sharing relationship, the partners get to learn real time from one another. Maybe for instance where the sexually pursuing partner has always been complaining about not been satisfied, (I will like to make the sexually pursuing partner for the sake of this illustration the husband) and this issue to the wife, is beyond her control. However, let’s say during one of the sessions of the wife sharing tingy! The wife was being rammed from behind, and the third-party partner seems to be so into her to the extent that it was obvious the synchronization between the two is out of this world.Then, in this situation, the husband can get to ask questions from the two parties to know what he has been missing.There and then, the husband can solve whatever problem it is after its ascertaining.
Bad habit correction:
Humans are made of different stuff, and as such we can never be the same. This cuts across our reasoning, the perception of things around us, and the extent of our tolerance. And this has further gone to the fact that we humans are not designed by our creator to be perfect. we will always have differences as long as we associate with others.
Correcting bad habits in our partner a relationship might be daunting, as we don’t want to come off as rude or confrontational all the time. However, despite our silence or tolerance, we are not doing either us or our partner any good, as bitterness, some of these bad habits of our partner leaves us will have latent negative effect in our interaction with them. No doubt that as time goes on, and as the pressure builds, the relationship will be closing in on its grave.
so then, this makes it important to devise a less harmful method of correcting our partner's bad habits by employing the wife sharing method.
The idea is this: in the course of the wife sharing experience, the partner with the bad habit may be unlucky to be told by the third party about how some of these bad habits of his aren’t going to position him as friendly as he might have thought himself to be. And this will definitely serve as a corroboration of the complaints of his partner. And if this happens frequently in the same manner, you will be sure the partner with the bad habits will have no choice than to put himself in order.
Two heads are better than one, and this is the exact case with wife sharing as each partner has a wider chance of being supported not only financially but also psychologically by the third-party partners.
Being psychologically balanced in the opinion of PositivePsychologyProgram has been said to come with few but potential benefits such as improvement of well-being, promotion of working memory, mindfulness act as a buffer against the depressive symptoms associated with discrimination, and increase in set point of one’s happiness.
As a wife, sharing appears to be deeply established in the list of disapproval of most societies; nonetheless, arguing that values the traditional marriage offers have preeminence over that of wife sharing totally untrue.
In the opinion of Pairedlife, the traditional marriage face the following challenges- these issues are compared and juxtaposed with wife sharing:
- Fidelity is not in the natural state of man and so keeping to the traditional marriage doesn’t change this fact, and neither does wife sharing totally eradicates this.
- Many couples even in the traditional marriage, get stuck in a rut, going over same issue time and time again, and at the end of the day, their individual key personalities will remain unchanged
- Restriction of freedom of the couples is prominent in the traditional marriage than we have it in the wife sharing relationship.
- No type of relationship, whether traditional or wife sharing, has been able to stay in touch with the reality and true development in the society. Each type is trying to create a one all fit rule.
As long as we are humans and we remain on earth and stay in association with one another, we cannot avoid challenges and no doctrine or principle of relationship competent enough to be branded self-sufficient. According to Pairedlife, “we should embrace the various different sorts of human relationships and treat them all equally, such as one parent families, homosexual relationships…” Hence, going for the relationship that appears to provide one with happiness should be the aim of everyone. Your happiness should come first.
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A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr “Right” and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here…