Are you concerned about the amount of time your husband is spending on his phone? Perhaps he has started being overly protective of it? Maybe he even smiles at text messages that come through to him? Regardless of the specific things your husband has been doing, you are pretty confident in the fact that he is texting someone else. So, what should you do about it?
In this article I am firstly going to tell you some of the signs to look out for that will confirm if your husband is or isn’t inappropriately texting someone else. Once you have thought about your husband's behavior and seen if it matches the signs that he is texting someone else, we will move on to how you can find out who your husband is texting. Then finally we are going to go over the best ways that you can confront your husband and hopefully, he will own up to what he has done.
Without further ado, let’s start to take a look at some of the signs of a husband that is talking to another woman on his phone.
- 1 1. He is protective of his phone.
- 2 2. He takes his calls away from you.
- 3 3. He smiles at his phone.
- 4 4. They hide to use their phone.
- 5 5. He goes on edge if you ask to use his phone for something.
- 6 How can you see who your husband is texting?
- 7 How should you confront your husband once you have found proof?
- 8 Conclusion
1. He is protective of his phone.
Previously, your husband might have been really relaxed with his phone and didn’t mind it lying about or being face up when he knew you were around. All of a sudden, if he is strangely protective of his phone then this is a red flag. Maybe he always keeps his phone in his hand or pocket, or if it is out, he always faces it down. He’s doing this to make sure you don’t see any messages or calls that come through.
2. He takes his calls away from you.
Sometimes we all need to take some space from other people and speak on our phones, this is understandable if we need privacy to talk about something. However, normally then you would apologize for having to walk away and explain why you needed to be private.
If you notice that your husband is always taking his phone calls away from you, it’s probably because he doesn’t want you to hear what he is saying. Another sign related to this would be if his phone rings and he can’t move to a private space, he will decline the call. He firstly doesn’t want you to see that someone else is calling him, but he also can’t take the call in front of you because it’ll blow his cover.
3. He smiles at his phone.
We all smile at our phones when we like the person that has text us or they have said something nice. Do you remember at the start of your relationship when your face might have lit up after receiving a text or call from your man? It can be a big concern if you see him smiling at his phone or coming back to you with a big grin on his face after having a phone call.
4. They hide to use their phone.
This might be hard to catch of course, because they are hiding from you. However, do you notice that they spend a lot of time locked in the bathroom with their phone or they go to the other end of the house in order to send a text? He is hiding from you to text her.
If you are in front of him, he might do this subtly by turning his phone screen away from you so that you can’t see what’s on it.
5. He goes on edge if you ask to use his phone for something.
Most couples keep their phones pretty private but if they need to use each other’s phones, then they will be happy to do so because they don’t have anything to hide. If your husband and you used to be like this, but it’s all suddenly changed this could be a cause for concern. For example, if you ask to use your husband's phone because yours is dead or you need to search the internet for something quickly and he responds negatively, it could be because he doesn’t want you to see something on there. He might make up excuses as to why you can’t use his phone, or he might offer to look for you, so you don’t have to use his phone.
A few behavioral signs that he is cheating on you or getting to know another woman include:
- You aren’t having sex anymore, or not as much as you were before.
- He spends more time away from you.
- He comes home smelling like a woman’s scent.
- He never shares any details of his life with you anymore.
- He is always telling you white lies, which then lead to bigger ones.
Do these signs resonate with your husband’s behavior?
After looking at the signs above, you will have hopefully conclude if your husband is speaking to another woman or not. If you are not sure, you can always monitor his behavior for a while and then come back to this article, now you know the signs you should be looking out for.
However, if you have come to the conclusion that he is being shady and using his phone to probably text someone else, the next thing you will want to do is see who he’s texting and what he is saying.
How can you see who your husband is texting?
There are many ways that you can find out who your husband is texting, however, it depends on how you want to go about it. Do you think you will get more answers from sneaking around and spying on your husband’s phone? Or do you think that if you simply speak to your husband, he will be honest and come clean with you? I would always suggest using the latter, but I also understand that sometimes it’s not easy to communicate with someone you suspect is cheating on you, nevermind get truthful answers from them. Therefore, we are going to take a look at a few methods that you can use to figure out who it is that your husband is texting, right from simple questions all the way to using spying software on his technology.
1. Ask him.
This is the easiest approach of course, but it might not deliver honest results. If you think that your husband would be happy to cheat on you, then he would probably be happy to lie to your face too. However, I want to put this option first because it is the best one. In a healthy relationship, you should always be able to speak to each other, especially when things go wrong or you’re going through a difficult patch.
The important thing about this is that you are not confronting him though, you are simply asking him some questions. You don’t have any evidence to properly confront him, but the answers to some simple questions might give you the evidence you need, or a lead on where he is going, what he is doing and most importantly who it is that he’s always talking to.
When you ask him any of the questions mentioned below, you mustn’t show any negative emotions, because you can’t let him clock on to the fact that you suspect he is cheating on you or speaking to someone else. Keep your voice calm, emotions in check and never use an accusing tone. You can say something like:
– “You’re on your phone so much, do you need help with some life organization? You seem so busy.”
This kind of thing is great to say because he will just think that you are looking out for him and wanting to help him with his admin because he seems so busy. There’s no hint of prying, you are simply trying to be a helpful wife. He will also think that he has fooled you…little does he know.
– “Wow it’s late for them to someone to contact you now. If it’s work then you should be the employee of the month!”
Saying something similar to this will probably make him fumble his words. You have subtly asked who is texting him, and he won’t what to say. If he agrees with you and says, “Yes, it’s work”. This gives you the cue to ask further…
– “What do you have to do now?”
He might not know how to respond if he is texting another woman and could not only stutter, but he could actually give the game away by slipping up with his words in a state of pressure.
Unfortunately, your husband might be a little bit better at hiding the truth from you and harder to crack. Therefore, you might have to start your detective work to figure out who he is texting.
2. Go on his phone when he isn’t around.
This can be really difficult if your husband is extremely protective of his phone, but if there is any point when your husband is away from his phone – go on it. I know that this definitely crosses the personal privacy boundaries, but I understand that if you think your husband is speaking to another woman you will do anything to find proof of it.
Once you have got into his phone, you need to go straight to his text messages. Have a look for any names that you don’t recognize, but do bear in mind that a lot of the time, cheaters will change the name of the person they are texting, just in case you did ever get on their phone or a call came through that you saw. Because of this, it’s probably best for you to take a look at all the recent people he has been texting and see the nature of the conversation. If you find the number you are looking for, copy the number on to your phone or write it down. Then, you can start researching the number afterward and figure out who it is. You could also call the number and see who picks up. You must remember to do this on a payphone, to ensure that the person doesn’t then have your number.
However, your husband might not risk texting her, just in case. So, you need to make sure that whilst you are on his phone you check his social media inboxes and also his emails. If he is contacting her over social media or email, then it will be easier because her name will be right there and there is no need for any further investigation.
You need to make sure that you are not caught by him whilst you are using his phone, otherwise, you might not be able to gather all the information you need, and it could cause a big argument between the two of you, especially if he is genuinely not cheating on you.
3. Look at the phone bill.
If you can’t get access to your husband’s phone, you might be able to get access to his phone bill and you can still figure out who he is speaking to through that. Typically, spouses share the bills, and therefore your cell phone bill and his are probably together. You could ask for a record of all the numbers that your husband has been making calls and texts too, or just have a look at the phone bill yourself. Normally, the people he knows and texts will be the people that you know.
Print off a paper copy of the phone bill or records, take a pen and paper, your phone and sit down. You will need to have the patience for this, so rush into it. You are going to need to cross-check all the numbers on your partner's phone bill with the numbers you have. If you find out that he is frequently making calls or sending texts to a specific number that you can’t find on your phone, this could be the other woman he is talking to. You can then research the number on the internet and it might bring up the woman’s details, especially if she has it linked to social media or her work.
If you search the number but still can’t find anything, it’s time to locate a payphone and call the number. If you call and a woman picks up, you can simply ask her name. If she wonders who is calling, you can tell her you got the wrong number. You probably have your woman, but to be sure, you will want to take a look at her social media. If your husband follows her, is friends with her or likes her posts then you can probably be sure that this is the other woman he is speaking to.
4. Use software to spy on your husband’s phone.
Before you decide to download a spying software, I would recommend trying to figure out who he is texting by using all of the other tactics. Spying software is firstly not always reliable, it can be expensive, and it is a massive invasion of privacy. If your husband isn’t cheating on you and finds out that you have been spying on his calls and texts, this is far more damaging than you just picking up his phone and taking a look.
If this is the last option for you, you can purchase and download software that will allow you to spy on your husband's phone. It will let you see what texts and calls are incoming and might even show you access to what he has on his phone, as well as sites he has been on. It’s an easy way to catch your husband if he is cheating, but to be compelled to use this method, you need to be confident that he is, otherwise it could ruin your relationship because you have violated the trust between you.
How should you confront your husband once you have found proof?
Once you have found proof that your husband is speaking to someone else, and figured out who it is, it’s time to confront him.
Don’t go on the attack.
As hard as it might be for you to try and control your emotions, you need to. If you don’t, your husband will not be able to open up and be honest with you. He might not anyway, but it’s worth allowing him to be truthful about what he has been doing.
Tell him how you feel.
Your husband needs to know how you feel. He has betrayed the trust between you. If you get angry, he probably won’t react the way you want. If you show him how what he has done has affected you, he will understand the severity of what he’s done.
Take some time out if you need to.
You haven’t done anything wrong, so you have the right to take some time away from your husband, and he can’t stop you from doing that. Taking some time for yourself might help you to decide how you want to move forward and allows your husband to realize what life is without you by his side for a while.
However, you decide to move forward after figuring out that your husband was talking to another woman is completely up to you. Some relationships do survive through this kind of situation, and for others, it forces a failing marriage to end. You deserve someone that loves and cherishes you and you only, and I really hope that whatever you decide to do, you know this.
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