The relationship between two exes can be a tricky one. Whether you ended on terrible terms, or you’ve always remained friends since the two of you parted ways, it can be difficult for everyone involved if the two of you try to maintain a relationship together.
Whether the two of you split up two months or two years ago, if your ex suddenly stops talking to you, it can feel like the two of you are breaking up all over again – especially if the two of you had previously been friends.
There are a number of different reasons why your ex might not want to talk to you. From not forgiving you for the way your relationship ended, to finding himself a new girlfriend and not wanting to complicate the new relationship. So if your ex has suddenly gone cold and won’t reply to your texts, calls and Facebook friend request, then it might be because of any of the following reasons.
He’s Got a New Girlfriend
As difficult as it is to watch an ex moving on with someone else, it’s always going to happen at some point. Even if you and your ex maintained a great friendship after the two of you broke up, when he starts to move on with someone else, you might notice that he stops talking to you in order to reduce the risk of any complications in his new relationship.
Although you might feel hurt and angry if he cuts you out of his life after finding a new girl, you’ve got to respect the fact that you’ll always be a part of his past, but that he just can’t have you in his future.
Additionally, it’s important to see it from his – and her – point of view. If you started dating a new guy and it was going really well, but he was constantly texting and calling his ex girlfriend, you wouldn’t be happy, would you?
The start of a new relationship is when you establish the boundaries that will set the standard for your entire relationship – letting the other person know exactly what you’ll accept and what you won’t, so if she’s told him that she’s uncomfortable with the fact that he’s close to you, then that might be why he’s cut all contact and stopped talking to you.
If you’re finding it really hard to accept the fact that he doesn’t want to talk to you after moving on with someone else, it’s important not to take it out on him or her. It’s common for exes to get jealous when their ex has moved on with someone else, but ruining their budding new relationship won’t help you to get him back as a friend, so it’s important to accept that he’s moved on and you should too.
He’s Not Over You
Sometimes when you’re addicted to something that’s unhealthy for you, the only thing you can do is go cold turkey and cut it out all together, so if your ex boyfriend won’t talk to you, then it might be because he’s trying to get over you, and the only way he can do that is to cut you out of his life all together.
Although it might be difficult for you to get your head around – especially if the two of you had remained friends since you broke up – it’s important to realise that he might just be doing it to make himself feel better and get over you once and for all.
If you think this might be why he won’t talk to you, it’s important not to text and call him all the time, otherwise this will just drive him further away from you. Instead, you should leave him to it to make him miss you – if he realises that he still needs you in his life, then he’ll text you. Unfortunately, this might also give him the time he needs to get over you, but what’s meant to be, will be.
However, if you’re not over him either, and you think there might be a way to salvage your relationship, then it might be worth having a conversation with him about getting back together. There’s nothing more awful than when two people are in love with each other, but refuse to be together for one reason or another, so instead of always wondering ‘what if?’, just bite the bullet and have the conversation – if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
He’s Not Forgiven You
If your relationship ended on bad terms because of something you did, then it should come as no surprise that your ex might not want to talk to you.
Whether you cheated on him, lied to him, or simply tried to control his life too much – your ex might resent you for the demise of your relationship and not want to maintain a friendship with you.
If this is the case, then it might be difficult for you to get through to him. After all, would you want to be friends with someone who treated you badly?
However, if you feel he’s acting unreasonably, then you should try to have a conversation with him about it to give you both the closure you need to either be friends, or completely get over each other. After all, you never truly get over someone if you’re still holding onto negative thoughts and feelings about them.
He’s Not Interested in Being Friends
Whether you ended on good terms or bad terms, the reason why your ex won’t talk to you might just be because he’s simply not interested in being friends with you.
Many people find the concept of two exes being friends a little hard to swallow. After all, does being friends with someone you used to be in love with not mean you’re not truly over them?
If your ex is one of those people who believes that two ex-lovers shouldn’t be friends, then you might have a fight on your hands to get him to talk to you – especially if your relationship ended on bad terms.
However, even if he doesn’t have a problem with two exes being friends, it might be the case that he’s simply not interested in being friends with you. Although it might be hard to accept, there are a number of reasons why he might not want to be friends with you, including:
- He wants to move on with his life
- He doesn’t love you anymore
- Your relationship ended badly
- He feels hurt that you broke up with him
- It’s his way of coping with the break up
- He’s found someone else
He Wants to Avoid any Awkward Situations
Even if you and your ex were the best of friends, it’s common for people to completely cut out their other half after a breakup – even if they don’t want to.
One of the main reasons for this is wanting to avoid any awkward situations – from bumping into people who don’t know the two of you have broken up (and will assume the two of you are still together), to any conversations between the two of you about your relationship.
It’s extremely difficult for two people to be friends after breaking up with each other, and awkward situations is one of the main reasons why. When two people break up, it’s common for them to cut all contact and never speak to each other again – even if they pass in the street. However, when two people do maintain a friendship, it brings about some situations which would otherwise be avoided.
From awkward conversations about the relationship, such as who cheated on who, who’s fault it was that the relationship ended, to meeting their new partner – there are so many awkward situations which can arise when you’re friends with an ex.
And that’s the exact reason why your ex might not want to talk to you. Even if you ended on good terms, he might just be keen to avoid any potentially awkward or embarrassing situations, thus, cutting you out of his life.
Although it might be difficult to accept that you won’t ever talk to him again, you’ve got to accept his reasons for not wanting to keep in touch and you might also want to thank him for saving you from some potentially embarrassing situations in the future! Although it’s hard, you’ve got to look at the positive side of it and move on with your life as best you can.
What to do When Your Ex Won’t Talk to You
It can be difficult when your ex won’t talk to you – especially if you’re not quite over them, but sometimes it’s for the best and will actually help you to get over the relationship more quickly. However, if you’re really keen to get back in contact with your ex – for whatever reason – then the following tips might encourage him to reply to your texts and have a chat with you about your relationship
Don’t Bombard Him With Texts
If someone wants to talk to you, they will, so it’s important not to bombard your ex with calls and texts in order to get him to talk to you, as this will only drive him away (and maybe make him block your number!).
There are a number of reasons why he might not want to talk to you, but if you’re not sure which one is making him cut all contact, then keeping your cool is the best way to get him to pick up the phone and talk to you.
After all, if it was the other way round and he was sending you hundreds of texts a day, the only time you’d reply is to tell him to leave you alone, right?
No matter how desperate you are to get him to talk to you, stick to a couple of texts or calls, and if he doesn’t answer or reply, then that’s an answer in itself. Although it might be hard to get your head around, the relationship has ended, so he’s not being unreasonable by not wanting to stay in contact with you.
Don’t Talk to His Friends
Unless the two of you share a friendship group, then there’s no reason for you to be talking to his friends after the two of you have broken up.
If you’ve tried talking to him to no avail, then don’t start messaging his friends to find out how he is, why he won’t talk to you, or if he’s moved on with someone else – no matter how tempting it may be.
Just as your friends would tell you if he’d messaged them, his friends will relay the message back to him, too – painting you in a bad light. As we said before, if he wanted to get in contact with you, then he would – messaging his friends will only make him frustrated with you, and make him less likely to talk to you.
So instead of talking to his friends, family and coworkers, try to keep your cool and remember that when he’s ready to talk to you, he will – messaging him and everyone he knows won’t speed up the process. In fact, it might just hinder it.
If you’re sure your relationship is definitely over, but you’re still upset over the fact that your ex won’t talk to you, then the best thing you can do for yourself – and him – is to move on and try your best to stop thinking about him.
Although it’s hard to get over an ex, sometimes cutting all contact is the best way to do so – and might just be the reason why he won’t talk to you!
Whether you take up a new hobby, get back on the dating scene, or go full on ‘Eat Pray Love’, sometimes the only option when your ex won’t talk to you is to move on and concentrate on yourself. It might be hard at the time, but you’ll feel much better for it in the long run.