Do you feel like you’re unhappy in your relationship even though you’re in love? Are you upset that you’re always thinking, “I love my boyfriend but I’m not happy”?
It’s totally normal to feel this way. It happens to many girls, especially in long-term relationships.
It’s important for me to explore this topic so that you can understand that these feelings are okay. I also want you to know what to do if you’re in this situation so that you don’t feel stuck or confused.
Why Might You Feel This Way?
- 1 Why Might You Feel This Way?
- 2 Is It Okay to Feel This Way in a Relationship?
- 3 How Can You Tell if Your Boyfriend Feels the Same Way?
- 4 How Can You Talk to Your Boyfriend About These Feelings?
- 5 What Should You Do About These Feelings?
- 6 Should You Stay in the Relationship?
- 7 How Can You Increase Your Happiness in the Relationship?
- 8 Conclusion
There are several reasons that you might be feeling unhappy regardless of how much you may love your boyfriend. Your reason may not be on this list because your relationship is unique. I can share some general reasons, but they may not apply to you exactly.
One of the major situations that causes these feelings is long-term relationships. If you’ve been with your boyfriend for a while, you likely feel committed. This is no one-night stand or random date.
You might be getting used to the routine of your relationship. This is past the honeymoon phase or cupcake phase, so things are just “normal”.
The two of you could be living together and stressed about money, work, and more. You might be encountering more of the everyday tasks instead of fun dates and flirty text messages.
Another reason could be that things aren’t great between you two. You still love him and want to be committed, but you might be fighting a lot. The love might be there, but the quality of the relationship could be fading.
Is It Okay to Feel This Way in a Relationship?
It’s absolutely normal and okay for you to feel this way in a relationship! You do want to look out for your own happiness in general and make sure that you aren’t miserable.
If you know that you’re unhappy due to certain temporary situations in the relationship, it’s definitely alright to feel unhappy for a little while.
It becomes more concerning when the feelings linger for a long time and don’t seem to be improving. Pay attention to see how your relationship issues are affecting your everyday life.
You should be aware of how often you feel unhappy and in what ways it influences you. If you think that it has something to do with your mental health too, this could be a sign that the relationship is unhealthy.
Plenty of people feel unhappy in their relationships. Watch your emotions and look for triggers. If you feel unsafe in your relationship, seek help and get out as soon as possible.
How Can You Tell if Your Boyfriend Feels the Same Way?
Try to figure out how your boyfriend feels. What you’re really looking for is differences in his behavior or in how he treats you.
You can make observations and predictions, but avoid making assumptions. He could be going through things with his family, friends, work, or school. It may not be related to your relationship.
If your boyfriend seems less interested in spending time with you or seems unhappy, he could feel the same way. It can be tricky to tell whether he is unhappy or not. Plus, you may not know whether he still loves you or not.
In general, males tend to suppress their feelings more often than females do. This is simply due to society’s views of males having emotions. If your boyfriend feels unhappy, he may not show it because of how men are “supposed to act”.
If you feel comfortable doing so, you should talk to your boyfriend. You can ask him questions about his feelings and what he thinks about your emotions. This is the best way to find out for sure because you will hear it from him directly.
How Can You Talk to Your Boyfriend About These Feelings?
It can be intimidating to bring these types of topics up to your boyfriend. You might think he will get angry. This is possible, but it is definitely necessary to be open with your boyfriend.
Try to just be honest with him. Reassure him that you still love him and want to be with him. Then, let him know that you haven’t been as happy lately.
You might want to share specific scenarios where you have felt less happy so that he understands better.
You can also reassure him that you want to work with him to make the relationship better. If you tell him that you want to break up right away, he might be upset. Of course, if you feel that way you should be honest.
When the two of you work together, you can resolve these problems. It will be a lot harder if you try to fix the issues on your own without giving your boyfriend a heads up at all.
Plus, then you will know that you aren’t completely alone. You will be working as a team to improve your relationship instead of just one of you putting in all of the work.
What Should You Do About These Feelings?
Aside from talking to your boyfriend and working from within the relationship, you can do some work on your own. Keep in mind that it is very important for you and your boyfriend to be a team in fixing any issues that you have.
Still, it can help to give you some peace of mind if you’re working on some things yourself.
It can be helpful to find hobbies that you enjoy doing on your own. They can bring you more happiness and take your mind off some of your relationship problems.
Pick up a new hobby or jump back into one you enjoyed a while back. This might be playing an instrument or participating in a local organization. There are plenty of ways to keep your happiness intact while working on your relationship problems.
Of course, if your relationship is deteriorating, you can’t depend on only yourself for happiness. You might need to get out of the relationship too.
It’s important to find ways to make yourself happy, but don’t let that distract you completely from any relationship problems you may be having.
Should You Stay in the Relationship?
There’s no right or wrong answer here. This definitely depends on your relationship and where you stand with your boyfriend. Watch this video to get some insight on how to make the decision:
It’s important that you try to make your relationship work if you do truly love your boyfriend. This will not necessarily be easy, but it can be worth it.
You may have to go to a counselor or come up with ways to bring back the honeymoon phase. This might include more dates or spending more time together after work.
If you do still want to be with him, try to find a way to resolve the lack of happiness you have. From there, you can evaluate whether the relationship is worth it or not.
Sometimes breaking up seems like the only option you have. If your boyfriend isn’t trying to make the relationship work or doesn’t seem to care, it’s probably time to move on. This is a hard realization, but some people aren’t meant to be together.
Evaluate how often you are happy compared to how often you are unhappy. Try to keep these feelings related to just the relationship and not other factors. This can help you to make a decision.
How Can You Increase Your Happiness in the Relationship?
If you want to work with your boyfriend to make the relationship better again, there are plenty of ways to do that.
Here are a few of the best ways to make yourself and your boyfriend happier:
- Talk about your feelings with each other.
- Send each other sweet texts or updates throughout the day.
- Make time to go on dates.
- Eat meals together at home.
- Have movie nights together.
- Find a hobby or a class that you enjoy doing together.
- Write each other love notes or buy each other small gifts.
As you begin to explore your emotions more, you might find the pieces of your relationship that are missing.
You can also take a look at what you’re doing differently now compared to what you were doing when you first started dating. These differences can give you some insight on what will improve your relationship’s success and happiness.
Just because your happiness is fading doesn’t mean your relationship is over. With the right amount of effort, you can keep things going smoothly. How you handle the lack of happiness will depend on you and your boyfriend and how bad the relationship is.
Comment below if you have any questions you would like us to answer!
- Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings.
- Work together to come up with a solution.
- Find things to do together to improve your happiness.
- Evaluate the relationship to see if it’s time to move on.
I’m a college student with several years of dating experience. I enjoy researching relationship and communication skills to improve my own relationships and the relationships of others as well. As a college student, I have spent time offering advice to friends as needed.