In Love With My Best Friend: What Should I Do

Are you wondering what it means to be in love with your best friend? Are you trying to figure out how to handle this situation?

Plenty of girls—and guys—out there are thinking, “How can I be in love with my best friend?” That’s exactly why I put this topic together. I want to make sure you know how to handle these sometimes confusing feelings. Here’s what you should do if you’re in love with your best friend.

Evaluate the Situation

Before making any major decisions, you should look into the situation. This is true of any potentially complicated choice.

First, you should figure out if you are truly in love with your best friend. You might feel like you are sometimes but not all the time. Maybe you don’t really know for sure.

If you aren’t 100% sure, it’s okay! It’s important to be aware of this so that you can make wise decisions when the time comes.

Once you know whether you are in love with your best friend, you should figure out if you want to take this relationship to the next level. Just because you like someone or are in love with them doesn’t mean that you have to date them.

You could just keep things normal between the two of you, but then your feelings would continue to grow.

It’s simply important to be aware of the situation that you and your best friend are in. This can help to ensure you handle your feelings properly.

If you go into a relationship without thinking about the current situation, you might make some mistakes or end up in an awkward situation.

Think About Your Friendship

How are the dynamics of your relationship? Do you feel a lot of pressure to hang out with your best friend or are things really laid back?

If you’ve known your best friend for a long time, the friendship likely feels pretty easy. You may not be putting in any effort and that’s okay!

If you and your best friend seem to get into arguments often, you may not do any better as a couple.

On the other hand, if you two get along great, that’s a sign that you can keep things positive in a romantic relationship.

It’s really important to truly evaluate the friendship and see what it’s like without the added component of romance. Then, you can consider the ways that your friendship might be influenced when you begin to love each other.

Keep in mind that some friends simply don’t ever do well as more than friends. This can sometimes be worked on but not always. Some people just can’t do the relationship side of things and that’s okay!

Another consideration to make is whether you’ve tried dating your best friend before. If you have, you should think about what went wrong.

Why Do You Like Him?

Before getting into any relationship, you should think about why you like the other person. By doing this, you are preventing some pretty silly relationships from happening.

What happens sometimes is that people are so eager to get into a relationship. They think they like someone and they really don’t. This often happens when people get lonely or if their friends all have boyfriends.

I’m not going to justify your reasons for liking your best friend. That’s for you to do. Still, it’s essential to think about these things.

If you don’t think that you have good reasons for liking your best friend, you should probably back off.

Please don’t start dating someone just because they like you or because everyone else has a boyfriend. It’s okay to wait until you’re ready and like someone.

Dating someone for the wrong reasons usually doesn’t end up lasting long at all. It’s much better to be patient and find the right reasons to date someone when you’re in a good place.

If you like your best friend for a handful of reasons and think that those reasons are legitimate, there’s no reason to wait forever. It’s worth giving the relationship a chance.

How Will Things Change?

It’s easy to see that making this jump from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend will have an impact on your friendship. This isn’t a bad thing. There’s no way to avoid it.

It’s just necessary to understand how things might change. Then you can make a good decision about whether you actually want to date him. Do you want to potentially risk your friendship?

If the relationship doesn’t work out, you two may not be able to resolve the conflict. This would probably leave you without him in your life.

For some people, they know that the relationship is going to work out just fine. This leads to almost no changes in the relationship.

Maybe there won’t be many changes between you and your best friend. You might already get along like a couple. Perhaps that relationship has been blossoming for a long time.

One good way to evaluate this is to compare your friendship to your most recent relationship. Notice the differences between the two. This will show you what will be changing when you and your best friend enter a relationship.

Remember that change itself isn’t bad. People don’t always respond to change in a healthy way, which can lead to problems in the friendship or relationship.

Are You Willing to Risk the Friendship?

As you know, not all relationships have happy endings. If the relationship ends, there is a chance that your friendship will end too.

Because this could happen, it’s important for you to decide how important your friendship is. Are you willing to risk losing it if the relationship doesn’t work out?

There’s no right or wrong answer here. To make this decision, you’re simply going to have to think it over.

You might consider how serious this friendship is or how long you’ve known your best friend for. You can also think about how the two of you might act in a relationship compared to your current friendship. There’s a lot to think about so be sure to take your time.

If you rush into this decision, you might make a choice that seems wrong to you. There’s no need to make this choice quickly.

In the end, it basically comes down to whether you’re willing to lose the friendship because you are so in love with your best friend.

If you’ve talked to your best friend about this, you can make the decision together since it will be affecting both of you.

Make Sure He Doesn’t Like Someone Else

Though this would be pretty hard on you to realize, you do need to check in on this. If you skip over it, you will run into some trouble pretty quickly.

You should find out whether your best friend already likes someone else. If he does, you should back off.

It can be easy to find out if he does like someone as long as the two of you are close. If you are pretty open with each other, he will probably mention liking someone at some point. This is a major hint that you should stop trying to pursue your best friend.

If he doesn’t talk to you about the girls that he likes, you might have to start the conversation. You can mention liking someone, but then you might put yourself in the position to tell him that you like him. This could backfire.

If you don’t have a good way of knowing whether he likes someone else or not, it’s not really your fault if you continue liking him. As soon as you find out otherwise, you do need to focus on the friendship and not the relationship.

Talk to Him About It

​The way that you go about talking to your best friend about this should depend on the following factors:

  • ​How well you communicate with each other: If you are good at communicating your thoughts and feelings in your friendship, you should be able to have this conversation without a problem.
  • ​How do you think he might take it: Is he likely going to respond well? If you don’t know, that’s okay. It’s best to just be cautious.
  • ​His personality: Some people are more relaxed and might respond well to a conversation like this. Others might be upset or feel conflicted.

It helps to figure out exactly who you’re talking to so that you can prepare for their reaction. If you haven’t had to have a conversation like this with your best friend, that’s okay. Just be careful and take it slow.

When you talk to your best friend, you should approach the topic slowly. Bring it up and see how he responds. Don’t rush it and make him worried.

You should pay attention to how he reacts too. If he seems confused, stop what you’re saying and clear things up. Half of this conversation should be focused on listening and being aware of how he responds.

Find a Good Time to Talk About This

Aside from figuring out what to say, you need to find a good time to talk to your best friend about these feelings.

I would advise doing it in person. If you’re feeling anxious about that, you can definitely talk about this via text. This is especially helpful if you aren’t sure how he will respond. Texting will give you a minute to come up with a response.

Think about a time when your best friend is going to be available to talk for a good amount of time. If he’s about to go to work, don’t ask to meet him for a few minutes. That would cut this conversation short and leave out important details.

If you two are hanging out your house, you can bring it up then. If you’re driving somewhere together, that’s another good situation too.

The goal is to make sure that you have a solid amount of time to talk about this. You don’t want to have to stop and start over later.

You should also see what his mood is like. If he seems grumpy, he may get upset with you unintentionally. Try to talk to him when he’s pretty happy and will communicate well.

Does He Like You Back?

​Before straight up asking your best friend if he’s in love with you or if he likes you, you should look for some hints. This will make the conversation less awkward and help you to be certain about his feelings.

It’s important to note that some friends act like they’re in a relationship when they’re not. Some of these hints might be normal for your friendship so they aren’t definite proof that your best friend actually likes you.

It’s good to look for more sudden changes in your friendship. Be on the lookout for the things that you aren’t used to in this friendship.

If he starts flirting, that could be a hint that he likes you. Remember that he might just be being nice to you. If it’s different from what you’re used to, it’s more likely that he likes you too.

If he seems to want to spend more time with you, that’s another possible sign that he likes you.

It’s helpful to start being aware of these things that your best friend may be doing already. Be aware of sudden changes that show that he might be interested in a relationship.

Ask Him If He Likes You

This can be an easy conversation to have if you’re already close to your best friend. It’s especially important to take this conversation slowly and pay attention to his reaction.

I would start by finding a good time to talk to him. When you’re out with a large group of people, you shouldn’t bring this up. When it’s just the two of you watching a movie at your house, that’s a better opportunity.

If you haven’t already told him about your feelings, this would be a good time to bring that up as well. Then, a natural question to ask is whether he likes you too.

If you have told him you like him, you can also treat this as a follow-up conversation. You can simply mention that you like him and ask him if he likes you too.

I know that this seems very simple. That’s because there isn’t a lot to it. It’s best to just ask the question and then see where things go.

If he does like you back, this is a good opportunity to have a conversation about where you want this to go next.

Take Things Slow

If you and your best friend decide to give a relationship a try, you need to be willing to move slowly. Often, people rush into relationships and end up in a tough spot.

In general, rushed relationships don’t end well. Take your time and show him that you’re willing to do this right and that you want to make things work out.

There is no need to start dating him the instant that you realize you like him. There are lots of important steps that go before making things official between the two of you.

If he’s your best friend, you likely know a lot about him already. Still, you can take some time to get to know him better.

You may not know what type of relationship he’s looking for or how he has treated his past relationships. Is he into more casual relationships or does he want to get serious right away?

By taking things slow, you can talk about your relationship plans. You can learn about each other. You can really enjoy getting the relationship started before it gets too serious.

One of the most exciting parts of a relationship is the very beginning. This is when you’re getting to know each other and flirting with each other too. It’s sweet and relaxed.

Check in with Him

As the two of you continue to progress this relationship, you should check in with each other. This should be done in any relationship, but it’s especially important if you’re dating your best friend. This can be an interesting dynamic so it’s essential to check.

Simply ask him how he feels about the relationship and then you can figure out if he’s happy. He will likely do the same for you.

You should be careful not to do this too often. If you are constantly asking him if he’s happy in the relationship, he may think that you aren’t. This would then lead him to question how the relationship is going.

To be safe, you may want to ask your boyfriend how he feels about the relationship about once a month. You can ask more often if you’re having your doubts or if anything serious happens in the relationship.

This is a good way to find out if everything is going okay in the relationship. It can make for some productive conversations about your relationship too.

Treat It Like Any Other Relationship

One common question that people have when dating their best friend is about how different things will be. You two may be closer to each other already. You might already know a lot about each other.

For the most part, this relationship should be treated like any other relationship. You should keep it that way so that you can both take it seriously and be committed in the relationship.

If you focus too much on the friendship side of things, you might overlook the romance. Of course, it’s great to be friends with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s just important to remember the romantic details. This can have a big impact on how successful your relationship is.

It might be awkward at first. You will have to adjust to being romantic toward your best friend, but, if you truly are in love with him, this will come naturally.

Treat this relationship like you would any other relationship. This will help both of you to be more serious about where the relationship is going.

Plus, you still have all of the benefits of the friendship, even if you’re dating!

Just Stay Friends

Some people aren’t meant to be boyfriend and girlfriend when they were previously just friends. This switch from friends to more than friends can definitely work. It happens in movies and real life all the time.

After giving a relationship a try, you might find that this just isn’t working. It might not be what you expected it to be.

This doesn’t mean you two can never be together in the future. It just might be best to stay friends for a while until you try again.

You might also make this decision before giving a relationship a chance. You might have realized that you don’t want to risk losing the friendship.

There is a lot on the line when you get into a relationship with your best friend. Don’t feel bad if you don’t want to end up in a potentially tough situation. It’s good to use your best judgment and truly consider the possibilities.

You and your best friend might work together to decide that you should just be friends. You might also make this decision by yourself if you haven’t talked to your best friend about it yet.

Just remember that there’s no shame in staying friends.

Ask for Advice

You likely have some pretty reliable and trustworthy friends who you can ask for help.

When you’re asking your friends for advice, you should keep a few things in mind.

  • ​Make sure you don’t give them too much information. There are some parts of your friendship with your best friend that should be kept private. It’s just respectful to keep some of that to yourself.
  • ​Make sure you take caution when using their advice. You should be able to trust most of your friends’ advice, but you should use your best judgment. Some of your friends might not have good ideas and it’s up to you to decide what to do.
  • ​Give your friends an option. Your friends might feel like they have to give you advice because you asked for it. This shouldn’t be the case. Make sure they know they have the choice to tell you they don’t know what to do. This will reduce the bad advice you get.

​Your friends might be able to help you out. They could have been in this exact same place before and might be able to pull from their own experiences.

Be Flexible

Creating a relationship with your best friend may not go as smoothly as you might expect it to. You might have a rough time getting started. You might have different hurdles to get over.

Once the relationship gets started, you and your best friend might realize that this just isn’t meant to be. This can be a sad realization, but it’s important to be flexible.

You should be flexible so that you’re ready to adjust and make changes if needed. These changes may arise more often in a relationship that started as a friendship because you’re so used to being friends.

You and your best friend may not be comfortable in a relationship after being just friends. You might not have the right dynamics to make a relationship work.

In addition, you will have all of the other regular relationship challenges. Because of this, you should be flexible with your best friend and be ready to handle these challenges appropriately.

Flexibility is a good skill to have in a relationship or in a friendship. It’s especially important in a potentially challenging situation where you’re dating your best friend.

Understand That It May Not Work

Unfortunately, not every relationship is going to work out—regardless of how it started.

If you and your best friend can’t seem to make this friendship work out, that’s okay. It was worth a try and you can always try again later on.

It’s important to figure out the next step. Are you going to be friends again? Could this failed relationship bring your friendship to a close as well?

As upsetting as it can be, some failed relationships do result in a failed friendship too. It can be hard to lose your friendship and your relationship at the same time.

This should be handled like a normal breakup would be. You may need some time to yourself and you might need to cope in your own way. This is totally normal.

If you are able to keep your best friend by your side after the relationship ends, that would be great! The two of you can work through this together and find ways to help each other.

Plus, if you and your best friend are still friends, you will still have that friendship. That may be more important to you than a relationship!

Conclusion

If you’re in love with your best friend, it’s a good idea to find out exactly how they feel too. If you’re going to pursue a relationship with them, you should make sure that you’re both on the same page.

Leave a comment down below if you have any questions!

  • ​Talk to your best friend about your feelings.
  • ​Decide if the friendship is worth the risk.
  • ​Be flexible in case things don’t work out.
Sonya Schwartz
 

A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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