It is over, but you keep longing for your ex. Your boyfriend has probably moved on and might be seeing someone else, but you can’t just seem to keep him off your mind. It is as if he left a permanent wound on you, one that keeps burning up with pain. ‘I miss my ex boyfriend’ is all you can think of.
You are not alone as many suffer the same every day. Being the more sentimental of the sexes, girls tend to hold on to memories of the union much longer. It is the way we are more in touch with our feelings.
Some girls find it difficult to cope and might even require help to get over their ex. Missing your guy is a natural thing to do especially if what you had together is worth longing for.
You loved the guy, and it’s absolutely alright for you to miss him. Don’t blame yourself for something that comes naturally.
Here then comes the question. What should you do when you miss your ex-boyfriend? Let me share some insights into this.
Think of the reason it didn’t work out
- 0.1 Think of the reason it didn’t work out
- 0.2 Think of ways in which you miss him
- 0.3 Is it your ex you miss or the idea of being in love?
- 0.4 Is your ex-worth missing?
- 1 Ways To Cope With Missing Your Ex-Boyfriend
- 2 Final Thoughts
Perhaps if you dig deeper, you will realize you were not compatible with your ex. Being with him required one of you having to drag the other along. Perhaps you had different goals in life, or your personalities differed a lot.
There is nothing worse than to get hitched to someone who does not share your ideas. It is the cause of constant clashes between the two as you can’t seem to agree on anything.
If this is the reason you broke up with your ex after you realized it was not going to work out, then missing him is perfectly normal but shouldn’t you be celebrating instead?
Think of ways in which you miss him
Perhaps it is the fact he made you feel like a queen or had you screaming with pleasure in between the sheets. Or simply that he was a good person, but he ended up not being ambitious enough for you.
You miss his touch and the sound of his voice. The way he brought you flowers when times were bad. Whichever way you look you have a thousand reasons to miss your ex, all of which appear valid.
None of them counts nevertheless as it changes nothing of the fact that you’re no longer together. Don’t go further than the analysis as nothing much comes off missing him.
Is it your ex you miss or the idea of being in love?
You’ll be surprised how many people think they miss their ex while what they’re actually missing is being in love. It is possible for one to be obsessed with love and not so much with the one involved. Many people discover later on it is the feeling of being in love that they miss.
Determine if yours is a genuine case of missing the guy. If that’s the case, then find ways to cope with his absence instead of sitting around missing him day and night. If it’s your ex, you miss you have to work harder to get him off your mind.
Should it turn out it is being in love you miss, then know you’ll be fine as soon as you find someone else. Knowing exactly what you miss in your relationship helps you move on more easily. Especially if it is the love, you really miss.
Is your ex-worth missing?
You’ve probably asked yourself the question but no matter the truth, you can’t seem to stop. You miss him alright, but are your feelings valid after what happened to bring an end to your relationship? Perhaps if you thought more how he broke your heart, you’d not miss him as much as you do.
Some guys are great and are the right package to bring happiness to a girl. Such are the ones you miss after you go separate ways. But there are guys who are not even worth thinking about once it’s over.
If your ex-was a mistake you made right from the word go he does not qualify to be missed. You don’t want to keep longing for someone who does not even qualify to be in your thoughts.
Ways To Cope With Missing Your Ex-Boyfriend
Let go of your feelings for him
It will not be easy, but it’s the best you can do. Missing him will not bring your ex back and the sooner you realize that, the better. Perhaps your feelings for him run deep, and you’re finding it hard to forget him.
It starts with a change in your feelings for him. Don’t dwell on how you feel instead be determined to get over him. Feelings can be complicated and may not change as soon as you wish.
Take the time to work at getting him out of your mind. Even if it doesn’t feel that way, it might be the best you can do. If you set your mind on it, it’ll turn up easier than you thought. As long as you’re determined to do it, you will find the strength to achieve it.
Refocus your thoughts
You find that you’re more likely to miss your ex during times when you are not really occupied. If you can shift your thoughts to doing something else instead of moping around missing him you might succeed in getting over him.
Your thoughts are powerful tools, and you can tune them on the way to go. Dwelling on thoughts of him only makes you miss him more. On the other hand getting involved with something else will help you forget the guy and missing him will no longer be an issue.
Perhaps it is time for you to find a new hobby or keep your mind occupied in another way. You need to find a replacement for the feelings you had for your guy, and this works best if you replace them.
Find alternatives to spending your time
Your relationship probably ended because it was not right for you. Seeing your ex meant that you spent a lot of time together. Now that he’s gone, you probably miss him because you haven't found a way to replace him.
Consider signing up for a language class or even going to the gym when you are free. Life is short, and you should not keep dwelling on what never was. Get involved in more useful activities geared to help make life better.
In the quest for you to find a way, you might discover you no longer miss your ex the way you did before. It boils down to what you do with your time and commitment to finding change.
Change the channel of your thoughts
It's like sitting in front of the television flipping channels to find what best suits your interest. Getting over feelings of missing him is pretty much the same, only you use your willpower to make the change.
Longing for someone you had an intimate relationship with can feel like choking under water. You need to find a way out of there fast so you can save your life. Being unable to be with your ex can drive you over the edge. Therefore, a turnaround of your thoughts could be the only salvation for you.
Instead of wallowing in the drudgery of missing your ex, why don’t you find a way to escape the feelings?
Be fair to yourself
If he really wanted to, your ex would get in touch with you, right? The fact that he doesn’t only means he might not miss you as much as you do. Quite a sobering thought considering you might have thought what you had together was real.
To be fair, you need to start thinking of yourself more. Determine to get rid of thoughts that cause you sadness and overall think of yourself more and let that be the scale you use henceforth.
Your thoughts, your feelings should bring you happiness and not leave you feeling unfulfilled. Unless you consider giving them up altogether for the sake of your ex. Which is not such a sound idea at all whichever way you look at it.
You miss him, anyone who’s fallen out of love can identify. It is the horrible result of failed love and not an easy one to rid yourself of. No wonder there are so many sad love songs sung by people who’ve been in this place before you.
The solution for you to live a healthier and happy life is to let yourself be open to the way you feel. From there only pick the feelings you want to pursue. Your aim should be to find peace and happiness and not dwell on the emptiness that is present in your heart. From there make a choice to concentrate on thoughts that add on to the feelings.
Listen, have you had the time to sit by yourself, think about what you really need? Your feelings might be pointing to your ex, but it might surprise you to discover otherwise if you search deep inside yourself.
As a pragmatic woman, Roxana didn't focus much on the matters of heart until falling head over hills for the wrong guy. After a devastating relationship, she studied the dynamics of dating and man's behavior to understand what went wrong. Her path drifted from science to letters, with the aim to share her knowledge with other women in need. She is now a contributor to Her Aspiration.