I Don’t Trust My Husband: What Does It Mean?

Are you having trust issues in your relationship? Do you feel like you can’t trust your boyfriend or husband?

I have heard plenty of girls saying “I don't trust my boyfriend” or “I don’t trust my husband”. This can be a hard situation to deal with so I put this topic together to help you out. You shouldn’t have to be alone in this. You definitely aren’t!

I’m going to give you some background on what it means if you don’t trust your partner and some ideas for fixing it.

What Does It Mean If You Don’t Trust Your Boyfriend or Husband?

If you don’t trust your boyfriend or husband, it’s likely because of a past event that occurred. This could have affected you alone or both of you together.

When you don’t trust your boyfriend or husband, you are likely putting restrictions on him. You might not want him going out with his friends because he could potentially flirt with another woman. Things like this are not healthy for a relationship.

If you don’t trust your boyfriend or husband, it essentially means that you feel like you need to know every detail of his life and who he’s with. This is probably annoying for your partner to deal with and it also shows him that you don’t trust him.

This often happens as the result of a past trust issue. Your current boyfriend or husband could have broken your trust at some point in the relationship.

Another possibility to consider is past relationships. If your old boyfriend was cheating on you, you are probably emotionally scarred by that.

You might have had a rough family life growing up, which might have caused trust issues later in your life.

In short, if you don’t trust your boyfriend, it means that you are often worried about what he’s doing and feel like something suspicious is going on.

This can be exhausting for you because you’re always concerned. It can be tiring for him because he’s always clearing up all of these different situations that you’re worried about.

Signs That You Don’t Trust Your Boyfriend or Husband

There are a handful of things that girls usually do when they don’t trust their boyfriend or husband. You should look through them and figure out if you do any of these to your boyfriend or husband. If so, you might have some trust issues to resolve.

First, you might text or call him frequently when he’s out with his friends. Girls who don’t trust their partner usually do this to check in and make sure he isn’t cheating. In reality, this ends up annoying the guy and making him feel like he’s done something wrong—even if he hasn’t!

Next, you might feel like snooping. You might look over his shoulder as he texts. You might try to break into his phone and read his messages. Some girls take it over the top and follow their boyfriend or husband to work to make sure he’s actually going where he said he was.

This is a bit extreme, but girls who think that their boyfriend or husband is cheating on them can be pretty concerned.

You might also try to tag along anytime your boyfriend or husband goes somewhere. It’s not bad to do this! Some girls do this so that they can spend time with their guy. Others do it to make sure that their partner doesn’t talk to other girls.

If you find yourself doing any of these things—or something along these lines—you might be paranoid that your partner is cheating. This shows that you don’t trust him.

How to Encourage Your Boyfriend or Husband to Open Up

Though you may need to come up with a full plan to resolve these trust issues, there are a few things you can do on your own to try to encourage your partner to be more open with you.

This is especially helpful if your partner seems to be reserved and doesn’t share many details with you. They may be reserved for a number of different reasons, but you can work on helping them warm up.

One of the best ways to get your husband or boyfriend to be more upfront with you is to show them how you yourself can be open.

For example, you can have a normal conversation with your partner and add in a few more details that you usually would. This shows your partner that it’s okay for them to go in-depth when they’re talking to you.

You could also ask your boyfriend or husband additional questions about wherever they were. Be careful with this one. You may need to find a balance between seeming like you’re being nosy and like you’re genuinely caring.

You should ask questions after he mentions some of the details. Be subtle and show interest. It’s important to show him that you care, which you do. You may be trying to get some details while he talks, but you are also responsible for making sure he knows what he’s saying is important.

You could simply say “I love it when you tell me about your day. Do you have more to share?” This will encourage him to share more information with you.

Should You Tell Your Partner You Don’t Trust Him?

Even though this can be a hard conversation to have, it’s absolutely necessary to talk to your partner about these concerns. This is the only way to resolve the issues.

If you realize that you don’t trust your boyfriend, you should sit down with him and explain the situation. It’s a good idea to be prepared. You might give him specific reasons or situations that have led you to stop trusting him.

It’s important to avoid attacking him. Simply explain the problem and why it’s occurring.

If your boyfriend or husband is understanding, they may offer to help you through these problems. They may want to make it better somehow.

Some guys can get very upset that you don’t trust them. This is a natural emotion so don’t try to suppress it. You should understand why your boyfriend or husband feels like this.

It’s always best to talk about these trust issues with your boyfriend or husband. Then they can be aware and try to help. Plus, this is another way for you to be open and honest.

How Does It Affect Your Relationship If You Don’t Trust Your Boyfriend or Husband?

If you don’t trust your boyfriend or husband, you have probably picked up on some of the things that usually happen in this situation. Still, it’s good to go over them and see how they can influence your relationship.

For one, you likely won’t be comfortable with your boyfriend going places without you. You might ask him a lot of questions or try to go with him. This will probably become annoying for him.

You might even start to become controlling and regulate your boyfriend’s life. You might try to limit the amount of time he spends with his friends. You might try to read his texts and bother him that way.

Another possibility is that you two will fight with each other more. This will be a result of all of the questions you’re asking him and how you are being nosy. He may get upset more easily because of how you are treating him.

Trust issues can be very harmful to strong relationships. They can tear couples apart and cause a lot of problems. This is often shown through increased conflict. As a result of this conflict, some couples don’t last through trust issues like these.

What Should You Do If You Find Out Your Husband or Boyfriend is Lying or Cheating?

You might have been speculating that your partner is hiding something from you, but you might not have known the truth. Well, if you find that your boyfriend or husband has been lying or cheating, you have a problem on your hands.

First, you should think about how you know that this is true. If you saw the messages on his phone when he was asleep, you should be careful how you bring this up. If you talk about it, he will know that you were snooping.

Next, you should find out as much information as possible. If he claimed to be with his friends but he had texted a girl about hanging out, you should try to find out what really happened. The more evidence you have the better.

The hardest part of this is confronting him. You’re going to have to tell him that you found out he was lying or cheating. Then you have to explain how you found out about it and how it makes you feel.

Be prepared for him to deny everything or to get upset with you. Don’t worry too much though. In this case, you didn’t really do anything wrong.

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​From this point, you can decide whether you want to make it work or if you want to give up.

Ask Your Friends for Advice

It’s a good idea to get an outside opinion on your lack of trust for your boyfriend or husband. This can help you to understand if your concerns are valid or not.

Keep in mind that you do need to respect your boyfriend’s privacy. If he has cheated on you in the past, you don’t need to disclose all of that information to your friends.

You can explain the situation to your friends while being vague. They don’t need to know every little detail to help you. If your friends are seeming to pry, you may not want to ask them for advice in the future. They should respect the relationship and its privacy.

Your friends might have been in a similar situation before. Perhaps they can give you ideas for learning to trust your boyfriend or husband again. They might be able to help you decide whether or not you should trust him.

Another thing to consider is that your friends are not professionals. They might be able to help you out, but they may not give the best advice. You shouldn’t expect them to do this perfectly! You’re getting free guidance.

You simply need to be aware of this and use your best judgment with the advice they share with you.

Should You Look Through Your Boyfriend or Husband’s Phone?

Plenty of girls look through their partner’s phone. This doesn’t make it okay. You might have done it in the past or you might have contemplated doing it.

You need to realize why it’s a problem. You’re invading your partner’s privacy by looking through his messages, phone calls, and social media.

There are a couple of things to pay attention to here. First, how would you feel if your boyfriend did this to you? Would you be upset?

Next, you should consider how it makes him feel about whatever he has on his phone. Unfortunately, this often leads to guys hiding anything they might have on their phone. They might delete their messages or change their phone passcode.

They may not have anything to hide, but they also don’t want you seeing every little piece of their life.

It’s a good idea to avoid looking through your boyfriend’s phone. You could make the issue worse than it’s actually worth.

Breaking into your boyfriend’s phone will only upset him and lead to an argument. You need to respect his privacy, even if you don’t fully trust him.

Now, if you have serious grounds for believing that your boyfriend or husband is doing something he shouldn’t be doing on his phone, you should talk to him about it. I understand why you think that it would be better to investigate on your own.

The problem is that you would still be violating his privacy by doing this and causing more unnecessary issues.

How Can You Learn to Trust Your Boyfriend or Husband Again?

​A good first step in learning to trust your boyfriend or husband again is figuring out why you didn’t trust him in the first place. Maybe he broke your trust before. Maybe you have been hurt in the past and don’t want to go through it again.

Though it may be uncomfortable, you should try to find out which part of your past is contributing to this problem. If your ex-boyfriend used to lie about where he was going, you should work on this with your husband or boyfriend.

Once you identify the problem, you should gently explain this to your boyfriend. Hopefully, he will be understanding and willing to work with you on these problems. Let him know how this lack of trust has influenced your relationship.

Then, you need to come up with a plan. The main goal here is to work on improving your relationship all around.

In addition, you might use this opportunity to clear up any confusion. For example, is your boyfriend texting someone you don’t know? You don’t have to know all of his friends, by any means. If it would make you feel more comfortable, you could ask about this.

Keep in mind that this is going to take time. You won’t be able to trust your boyfriend overnight. It’s going to take some effort and you will have to be a team. It’s definitely doable so don’t worry too much.

Should You Break Up?

Some relationships can’t make it through these trust issues, which is unfortunate. You might be realizing that there is nothing you can do. You might not be able to resolve the problems at hand.

In some relationships, trust issues are grounds for a breakup. You may not want to give up on the relationship, but you may not have much of a choice.

I would suggest trying a few things before calling things off. This is even more serious if you’re married. You don’t want to have to deal with a divorce, but it might be necessary.

Make sure that you have talked through the trust issues and tried out a couple of different plans.

Next, you should make sure that you’ve gotten outside help of some sort. This might be from a friend or a family member. It also doesn’t hurt to visit a counselor who can help you work through this.

A relationship cannot function properly without trust. If you and your boyfriend or husband don’t trust each other, you may have to break up or get a divorce.

Just make sure you’ve tried enough plans and programs to fix the problem before giving up. Of course, some things are inevitable.

Conclusion

If you don’t trust your boyfriend or husband, you should attempt to fix this by talking through your problems and working together. You should try to figure out why you don’t trust him. You might ask your friends for advice.

This is going to take some effort, but it’s worth it. If you absolutely can’t figure out what to do, you might be in the position to split up. Don’t give up too easily, but some relationships just aren’t worth it.

If you have a question, let us know in the comments down below!

Sonya Schwartz
 

A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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