Spouses giving each other hall passes has become more popular in recent times and it can be difficult to navigate your way around it. Hall passes can be very confusing, especially if your husband has given you one. Many questions might be coming up in your mind that you don’t feel comfortable speaking to anyone about.
So, I’m here to give you the low down and tell you what it really means if your husband has given you a hall pass.
- 1 What does having a hall pass allow you to do?
- 2 What does it really
- 2.1 1. He is cheating on you and wants to cover it up by offering you an opportunity to be unfaithful too.
- 2.2 2. He might have heard that it will benefit your relationship.
- 2.3 3. He might feel bad if you have not slept with as many people as he has.
- 2.4 4. Your sex life might have come to a halt because of him.
- 3 What will the outcome be like if you choose to use hall passes in a marriage?
- 4 The risks that can come with using a hall pass in your marriage.
- 5 Conclusion
What does having a hall pass allow you to do?
Firstly, I think it is important for us to talk about what hall passes really are. A hall pass is essentially a get out of jail free card for infidelity. Your husband is telling you to go for it if you have any sexual urges towards other people. If you do have sex or any other romantic encounters with anyone else, your husband has no right to get angry about it.
However, a lot of people’s hall pass rules are different. So, it’s a good idea to define what counts as acceptable and what isn’t. Usually, sex is accepted but full-blown romantic relationships with someone else will be frowned upon.
It’s also important to figure out if you will discuss what you have been doing with others. Some couples find that speaking about their infidelities makes their relationship better, and sexually it spices things up. However, other couples might not want to share what they have been doing because it can make them jealous.
What does it really mean?
There could be many explanations for your husband giving you a hall pass, and we are going to have a look at a few of them. However, the best advice I could give would be to communicate with him. It will be likely that if he is offering you a hall pass you will speak about things at length anyway, so during the conversation ask him what his reasons are.
Of course, he might not be completely honest with you, so it could mean one of the four things I have listed below.
1. He is cheating on you and wants to cover it up by offering you an opportunity to be unfaithful too.
Even though this is a horrible reason, it has to be considered. Your husband could be giving you a hall pass to sleep around because that is exactly what he has been doing, without you knowing. Guilt might finally be catching you with him, and so he is offering you the opportunity to go and have sex with someone else.
He might also be hoping that you will offer him a hall pass too, which would make him feel better about cheating on you. He will then feel like you’ve almost permitted him to cheat – even though you haven’t because you were oblivious. You will probably be able to notice if this is the reason for your man giving you the idea of a hall pass. He will push you to accept his offer, even if you don’t want to.
However, if you had no suspicions about him cheating on you before now, don’t let this be your first thought if he offers you a hall pass. If he was cheating on you, you would have probably noticed some changes in his behavior before this point. If you do have your suspicions but you can’t be sure, feel free to go and check out my article, “10 Signs A Man Slept With Another Woman”.
2. He might have heard that it will benefit your relationship.
There is a lot of talk about how allowing your partner a hall pass can add new sparks to your relationship or spice up your sex life if it isn’t good. So, it might be time to have a think and ask yourself, “Is my relationship not doing great at the moment?”. If you realize that your relationship is having difficulties or in particular your sex life is non-existent, then your husband could just be recommending this to try and fix what’s going on.
Even if hall passes aren’t the best way to fix a failing or monotonous relationship, you have to commend him for trying. Amazingly, he has taken the initiative to find ways to fix or improve your relationship. This is a sign that he definitely still loves you and is trying to work at making your relationship better, no matter what it takes.
3. He might feel bad if you have not slept with as many people as he has.
If you haven’t had sex with as many people as your husband has, he might feel bad for tying you down just to him. He might be offering you a chance to go and explore your sexuality some more. This could definitely be the case if he is the only person you have ever slept with, but he has slept with many. He might not want to feel like he is limiting you.
Also, have you been hinting that you want to experiment with different people or have a sexual attraction to someone else? Maybe you have told or hinted to him that you feel sexually inexperienced? He may have clocked on to that and now wants to allow you to explore more of your sexuality. When you think about, this is actually sweet of him to offer. He just wants you to be happy with your sexual experiences in life.
4. Your sex life might have come to a halt because of him.
This is the most selfless reason for him to give you a hall pass. It could be that your sex life has taken a big hit due to something to do with him. It could be that you have lost your sexual attraction towards him for the time being or he could be suffering from sexual dysfunction and is unable to please you. A more serious reason could be that he has some kind of illness and therefore cannot perform intimately with you right now.
Your husband is giving you a hall pass to make sure that you are still receiving pleasure, even if it is not because of him.
However, if this is the reason then you would have probably already know this. For instance, he would have realized that he isn’t providing what you need, explained this to you and then suggested that you have a hall pass. This is really admirable of him because he is putting your needs before himself.
What will the outcome be like if you choose to use hall passes in a marriage?
The answer to this question really lies with your relationship. Hall passes work for some, and not for others. It also depends if both people have hall passes or it’s just one. If only one spouse is allowed a hall pass, it can feel unfair.
Although it might be a great idea if your sex life needs spicing up and you have exhausted all other means of doing this, there are many risks involved. It’s important to have a look at some of the risks detailed below before you say yes to having sex with other people.
The risks that can come with using a hall pass in your marriage.
This is probably the biggest risk. If you are in a marriage, you are (hopefully) absolutely committed to your spouse and the idea of them being with someone else does not excite you, it makes you feel upset and jealous.
If you know that you would be jealous and angry if your partner slept with someone else, then a hall pass isn’t what your relationship needs.
You might start to have feelings for someone else.
Even though a hall pass normally just allows sex, it can be dangerous. Sex is a very intimate act, and you might find that you start to feel deeper things for someone. Hall passes can break up relationships because of this.
Over time, the relationship may fall apart.
Sometimes people only use hall passes once, or twice. However, if you are planning on having a never-ending hall pass, you might start spending less time with your partner and more time focusing on having sex with other people.
I really hope that this article will help you if you are trying to decide why your husband has given you a hall pass and if you should take it and use it, or not.
All decisions concerning this topic should be discussed at length by both of you, and one person can not just decide that they will give themselves a hall pass – this is cheating.
I wish you the best of luck in your marriage, with or without a hall pass.
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