How To Spot A Player: Don’t Fall Victim To His Game

Learn how to spot a player and improve your chances of hitting it off with one of the good guys instead. Whether you are an attractive person on the inside or on the outside, or even maybe both, you deserve to be treated well when you are dating. Absolutely nobody wants to date a player. Why I hear you ask. Read the following reasons and you will find out why. My friends and I have thought long and hard about this topic, we want you to travel along life's dating highway without ever having the misfortune of meeting one of the dreaded players that are lurking out there, waiting for poor unsuspecting you to come their way. We want to protect you. Bring on the girl power!​

​His Eyes Will Always Be On The Move

His Eyes Will Always Be On The Move

His eyes will always be on the move because even though you consider yourself to be his girlfriend, he doesn't! You are just one of his many conquests, and he will already be looking for his next one. A player is not happy until he has got everybody in the room looking at him and giving him the attention he falsely thinks he deserves. You will also be paying him attention, because that is what he has told you to do. But guess what? He definitely won't be paying you any attention, no, no, no,not by any means. He would have paid you attention when you first met him because he wanted you to fall for him. He has to have women falling at his feet. Now that he has got you he is ready to move on. Even worse a player will almost certainly have a string of girls just like you who he can call up and sleep with just by clicking his fingers. The signs are there, you just need to wake up and see them. Next time you see that his eyes are on the move, recognize him for what he really is, he is a player. Get rid of him and move on. You deserve better.​

​He Will Be All Over You One Day, But Not The Next

He Will Be All Over You One Day, But Not The Next

He will be all over you one day, but not the next, the reason for this is simple, and he is not that interested in you. When he can be bothered he will be all over you, but it is more likely that he can't be bothered making an effort for you and will practically ignore you. the problem here is that you will be tempted to cling on to the good days. You will block the bad days out of your mind. Don't! Be realistic and get yourself out of this toxic relationship, A.S.A.P. My friend Sheila's advice for you is to be strong emotionally and step quickly away from this man. She says when this same situation happened to her, she was reluctant to take the step away from him, because she felt like she had failed. She says never feel like you have failed. It is not you at fault, it is his.

​He Tries To Sweet Talk You Into His Bed

He Tries To Sweet Talk You Into His Bed

He tries to sweet talk you into his bed because a player cannot bear the thought that he can't get what he wants. Do not fall for his chat up lines. He may be good looking, he may have a good personality, he may have a good body, but he is no good for you! I know you will probably feel flattered that this good looking man is taking an interest in you, but it is not actually you he wants, he just wants sex. He sees you as a conquest and no matter how many times you say no he will keep on wearing you down with his endless come to bed lines. Please be the one to resist, please be the one who keeps saying no. You will not gain anything from sleeping with him but he will gain everything. You will just be a number to him, another conquest he can notch up on his bed post. Walk away with your head held high and be proud that you did not fall for this player.

​He Is Overly Friendly With Other Women

He Is Overly Friendly With Other Women

​He is overly friendly with other women because he has to be the one. He has to be the only one in the room who can get every woman on his side. He has to get every female interested in him. It does not matter if they are with their own partners or that he is with you, he still wants every female to have the hots for him. He thrives on other women fancying him. He will not care that you are uncomfortable with him acting this way. He will see you as an obstacle in the way. He won't push you completely away because he has to know that he is going to get sex sometime in the evening, but he will not care one jot about your feelings. You are just his arm candy for the night. He will chance his hand with every woman in the room, until he gets a hit. He will probably make a date with this other woman whilst you are standing within an arms distance. Or he will go one better and slip away for half an hour, he will tell you he has forgotten something and needs to go and pick it up. But really he has made an arrangement to meet this woman in his car for a quickie. He has no moral standards and is so up for playing around that your relationship is a living nightmare. Never think that you can change this player, you can't. Once a player always a player, he will not know any other way to act. You have to leave him. The bad times far out weigh the good, for your own sanity,you have to leave him.

​He Is Flirtatious With Your Friends

He Is Flirtatious With Your Friends

​He is flirtatious with your friends and at first you may have thought it was nice of him to be so friendly towards them. There is a fine line between being friendly and being flirtatious and your man always crosses that line because he is a player. My friend Susan's advice for you is to listen to what your friends are saying about your man and listen to them carefully. Susan was told many times by her friends that her man made them feel uncomfortable with his constant sexual remarks, but she chose to ignore them because she thought they were jealous of her. But one woman in particular was a very good friend to her, she told her that her man had asked her to sleep with him and that he thought she was better looking than Susan. Susan was heartbroken but because this friend was so true and dear to her she knew she wouldn't lie to her. It was hard for Susan to take it all in but she had guessed for a while that her man was a player and now her close friend had told her it was true. She felt humiliated with it all. Susan found some strength and broke up with him. He begged her to take him back; players do not like to lose. Susan did not take him back and looks back on her relationship with this man as an unhappy time. She is now free of him and is with a lovely man who does not play around. Take her advice and break up with the player who may have you in his grasp.You will be better off without him.

​He Is Always Late

He Is Always Late

​He is always late because he is running from one date to another. A player tries to keep his harem hanging on. He will try every trick in the book to keep you all hanging on. He can't bear to let one of you go because that would mean he has lost control over you, and one thing a player wants more than anything is to have control over you. He wants you to sit by the phone waiting for him to call or he wants you to sit dressed by the front door waiting for him to knock. Always being late gives him a sense of the power he has over you. He will even make you think you are a nag if you keep asking why he is late. Overtime you might even stop asking him where has been to make him so Late because you will not want to be thought of as a moaning Minnie. You will accept his lame excuses and you will stay quiet. Do not let this relationship go any further, you are going to get sucked deeper and deeper into a situation that is making you sad. You urgently need to finish with him because he is knocking your confidence down. You deserve to be the happy confident person you were before you met him. End it now and become you again. You can do it.

​He Will Never Commit To Meet You At A Certain Time

He Will Never Commit To Meet You At A Certain Time

He will never commit to meet you at a certain time because he never knows which woman he will be with or at what time. If you were to ask him to meet you at a restaurant at eight o'clock he wouldn't be able to agree because he doesn't want to be tied down, not even for one night. He wants you when he wants you but he wants his other women too. He has got you where he wants you and he has got you waiting on his every move or suggestion. You will have no control. If he wants to go to the local pub with you, you will drop everything to make the date. If he wants to come around to your house for sex, you will let him. He has got you under his control, he is a player and he knows how to play the game, he has been playing this game for a long longtime. My friend Natalie's advice is simple. She says don't answer the phone to him and don't answer the door to him. Be blunt and tell him you do not want to see him anymore. He will probably beg forgiveness and tell you that he will change, but Natalie knows he won't. Her man pleaded with her to take him back. She said no she had had enough. A player doesn't really want you back he just doesn't want his ego dented. Please do as Natalie did and finish with him now. You can do it.

​He Never Talks About His Friends

He Never Talks About His Friends

He never talks about his friends because he wants to keep you away from them. They are a separate part of his life. A life he doesn't want you to know anything about. He will want to know your friends because that is what players do, they play the field and where you and your friends are concerned he has found the perfect field to play in. His friends will not know anything about you because he won't have told them anything. You are not important enough to know his friends. You are a female conquest he sees from time to time to sleep with. He will sweet talk you into his bed and he will use you for sex. He will not want to take you out because he does not really want to socialize with you. He probably does not even want to be seen with you in public, he is a player and you would harm his chances in the future with other women if he were to be seen out with you. So you sit at home waiting for him to come around when it suits him. You are at his beck and call, and he knows it. You need to find yourself again, you need to get your self respect back. Take a deep breath, pick up the phone and tell him it's over. You deserve better.

He Keeps Your Relationship Quiet​

He Keeps Your Relationship Quiet

He keeps your relationship quiet because he doesn't take you seriously. You are a convenient fallback for him when nothing else goes his way. A player is always on the prowl, he is always on the lookout for somebody else to fall into his clutches. Somebody else he can keep on the back burner to have sex with when it suits him. My friend Sheila's advice is for you to wake up and smell the roses. He will not be discussing you with any of his family or his friends because you are not that important to him. You are a convenient lay. You on the other hand will probably be going into work constantly talking about him, telling your work colleagues how wonderful he is. You could not be further apart in your feelings for each other. He does not care about you; he just cares about himself and what he wants. Sheila says you must stop seeing him because he will not make you happy. This is not a healthy relationship to be in. Go ahead and tell him it is over. You can do it.

He Never Takes You Out Publicly​

He Never Takes You Out Publicly

He never takes you out publicly because he knows you might bump into one of his other hangers on. A player has many hangers on, girls who wait for him to call, believing they are in a proper relationship with him. He does not have any feelings for any of you, but he does want sex with all of you. He cannot take the chance that you might meet one of them, so he has you sit at home waiting for him to turn up. You will make an extra special effort to look nice for him because he has told you he wants you to get dressed up for him. He won't take you out even though you look lovely when you open the door to him. He won't even bother to make an effort with his appearance because he knows you are not going anywhere. You will run around after him making sure he is comfy, making sure you have made him his favorite meal. You will be the perfect hostess and it will all end up with you having sex with him. This is what a player wants; he wants a convenient woman who does not ask questions. A woman who will do anything for him yet gets nothing in return. You deserve better. You need to be in a caring, sharing relationship. You need to dump this guy who turns up if and when he wants to. You need a loving man in your life. Dump this creep now and enjoy the future you deserve. You can do it.

He Does Not Want To Be Introduced To Your Family​

He Does Not Want To Be Introduced To Your Family

He does not want to be introduced to your family because he knows he probably won't be around long enough to get to know them. He will not be interested in the slightest about your family, your background, or your hobbies. He is only interested in himself. When you are together he will talk about himself endlessly. He loves himself and there is no room in his heart for anybody else, including you. Your family are very important to you but he will not see it like that. He will try to distance you from them, so that you can give all of your attention to him. If he wanted to see you and you had made plans to visit your family he would talk you out of going to see them. If he really cared about you he would support you in meeting your family. He will make you choose who it is you care more about, him or them. He will make you feel guilty for giving them your time when you could be lavishing your full attention on him. Do not let this player crawl under your skin. Leave him and do not look back. Leave him now and put your family first. They love you, he does not. You can do it.

​He Does Not Want You On His Facebook, Twitter Or Instagram Account

He Does Not Want You On His Facebook, Twitter Or Instagram Account

​He does not want you on any of his social media accounts because he doesn't want anybody to know about you. When it comes to getting what he wants a player has many avenues to go down. All avenues will be kept totally secret and separate from each other. He will have his own set of friends and you will be kept away from them. They know what he is really like. They know how good a player he is. They will know exactly where you stand in the rankings of his conquests. His friends will put him first because they feed off the scraps that he throws back. They know that when they are out with him they are on the hunt. They are on the hunt for women.He will not want you to be any part of this outing. This is his life and he is going to live it his way. You will be denied all access to his life. You are just one of his sexual conquests who he decides when and if to pay a visit to. You need to move forward in your life without him, he is not good for you.

​He Only Wants To See You On The Same Couple Of Days Each Week

He Only Wants To See You On The Same Couple Of Days Each Week

​He only wants to see you on the same couple of days each week because he has got the perfect rot a set up. He is a player and he has set himself up with a few of his conquests who he can visit for sex when it suits him. You might get Monday evening between 8 o'clock and 10 o'clock. The other women will get the hours before or after you. You might get a Sunday morning which would suit him down to the ground. He will turn up drunk around 4 a.m and you will open the door to him. He will collapse into bed and fall straight into a deep sleep, but when he wakes up; you are there to give him what he wants. Do not let him use you as a part time sex partner. Your self esteem will hit rock bottom and you will find it ever more difficult to lift yourself back up. Tell him it's over and walkaway. It's never too late to do the right thing. You can do it.

His Ex Girlfriends Keep Ringing Him Up​

His Ex Girlfriends Keep Ringing Him Up

His ex girlfriends keep ringing him up because they are not in fact exes is another way on how to spot a player. They are the other women he keeps a hold on just so he can have sex when it is convenient for him. None of them know anything about each other and each woman including yourself believe that they are his girlfriend. A player knows just how much attention to give each of you to keep you hanging on. He does not want to lose any of you because that would hurt his ego. He wants you all to love him. He wants you all to be there for him at a moments notice. When the phone rings and he tells you it is one of his exes trying to get back with him, do not believe him. A player is a good liar, lying is what he does best. He can wrap you around his little finger with the lies he tells you. You believe him because you want to. You do not want to face up to the truth that there could be other women in his life. Please listen to your instincts, they are right. He is cheating on you with others and he will not stop. Finish with him now and save yourself from a lot of heartache. You can do it.

​He Never Invites You To His Home

He Never Invites You To His Home

He never invites you to his home because he does not want you to know where he lives. He is worried that if you know where he lives you might turn up unannounced and catch him there with another woman. He does not want you to be a part of his life. He wants to keep you separate from the things that really go on his world. He is a player; he does not have room in his life for you to get too close to him. The only part of him that you will ever know about is when he wants sex. That is the only time that you will be thought about. An English mans home is his castle and this is one castle where the drawbridge will never be lowered to let you enter. You deserve better, you are a nice person. Tell him you never want to see him ever again, then breathe a sigh of relief as you realize you have finally got rid of this bad apple.

He Never Answers His Phone In Front Of You​

He Never Answers His Phone In Front Of You

He never answers his phone in front of you because he does not want you to know who is on the other end. It could be another woman, it could be one of his friends,and obviously he does not want you to know. A player lives a secret life, a life that is seedy and made up of lies. He does not know any other way to live his life because he has always been a player and always will be. It suits him to be a player because he is good at it and he gets what he wants. When you ask him why he is not answering his phone he will come out with a typical players line. He will tell you that you are too important to him for interruptions. Do not accept his false flattery, walk away immediately and leave him standing there with his stupid phone ringing. You know better. You can do it.

He Only Ever Sees You At Odd Hours Of The Day Or Night​

He Only Ever Sees You At Odd Hours Of The Day Or Night​

He only ever sees you at odd hours of the day and night because these are the times when he wants to have sex with you. He will make you believe he misses you so much that he just couldn't wait one more moment to see you. He tells you what it is you want to hear, he knows how to play the dating game because he is one of life's players, he has been blessed with good looks but has no conscience whatsoever. The tall tales trip off his tongue like a waterfall. He can wrap you around his little finger with hardly any effort. When he next knocks on your door at 3 am in the morning. Do yourself a favor and tell him to go and take a hike. I would love to be a fly on the wall when you say it! I would love to see his jaw hit the floor in shock. He didn't know you had it in you, but you did. Well done. You can do it.

He Thinks He Is Cool And Belittles Other Men Around Him​

He Thinks He Is Cool And Belittles Other Men Around Him

He thinks he is cool and belittles other men around him because by putting them down he thinks he is making himself look good. He will try to make you see that he is the real deal and they are poor pretenders. He wants you to exclusively see him as the only man in the room. He will tell you that this man or that man is an idiot. He is a player, he has been in a room full of people many times, he knows how to play a crowd, and he loves it when other men's wives look over at him. He loves the challenge that it gives him to be able to walk up to these women when their men have nipped out somewhere. He will leave you standing alone whilst he sidles up to them and tries to win them over with his practiced chat up lines. He is a snake in the grass and will do this right in front of your very eyes. When you challenge him he will tell you that you are paranoid. You are not paranoid;  you are unfortunate to have met a player. See through him, see the soulless creature before you and leave.Leave right there and then, it is your best chance. You can do it.

​He Will Disappear At A Moments Notice

He Will Disappear At A Moments Notice

He will disappear at a moments notice because one of his chat up lines has worked. One of the women he has been talking to has fell for his flattery, she has fallen for his good looks. He will tell you he has had an urgent phone call and must leave straight away. He will ask you to wait for him and he will try to be as quick as he can. You will be understanding and show concern. You have been lied to, there was no phone call, and there is no emergency which means you are dealing with a player. A player in full flow, a player who has just made a connection and is about to make his next conquest. You have learned the hard way that you can never win with a player; a player will always make you feel unhappy. Be kind to yourself and get out of this horrible situation immediately. You deserve to be happy. You can do it.

He Tells Lies About Every Day Happenings​

He Tells Lies About Every Day Happenings

He tells lies about everyday happenings because he just cannot bring himself to ever tell the truth. He is so caught up in his false world that he has forgotten what reality is. Hopefully you will realize that by lying about the most simplest things in every day life, he is going to be lying about the more important things too. Hopefully you will realize sooner rather than later that you have met a player. You will be able to make judgement on what you see and hear and you will know that he is absolutely not right for you. You don't like being lied to, and you don't trust him as far as you can throw him. Make the right choice by finishing with him... you will have a lucky escape.

​He Actually Admits He Is A Player

He Actually Admits He Is A Player

He actually admits he is a player because he is that cocky that he has won you over and that he knows he can say anything to you and you will still stay by his side. He has brainwashed you into thinking that the way he acts is normal. He has made you think that his chat up lines to other women are only him being him, he will tell you that it is a part of his personality, and he means you no harm by it.

He tells you he only has eyes for you, he is a player, he wants his cake, and he wants to eat it too. He will openly chat up women in front of you and you will say nothing because you believe him when he tells you it is you he wants and not her. You will feel flattered by his lies. He will get the other women to sleep with him behind your back. You will have your suspicions about the other women but you will push those suspicions to the back of your mind because you do not want to make a scene by not trusting him.

You believe him when he says he only has eyes for you, so you do nothing. You must not push your suspicions to the back of your mind; you must listen to them with every fibre in your body. Listen to them and act upon them, you are right.

​He Buys You Gifts To Keep You Hanging On

He Buys You Gifts To Keep You Hanging On

He buys you gifts to keep you hanging on because he can not bear the thought that anybody could walk away from him. You might have thought about leaving him, you might have told him how you are feeling; his response is to buy you a gift. He wants you to hang onto his every word; he wants you to believe he is the perfect man for you, but most of all he is thinking about himself. He is thinking about what it would mean to him if you left him. He wouldn't miss your personality but he would miss the sex. You have been there for him 24/7 and so he knows he can come to you for sex when all other avenues are closed. He is a player; players try to get women into bed with them. If he has gone out on the pull and been unsuccessful he will come to you for sex instead. When he buys you a gift he is not thinking about you, he is thinking about himself. Do not accept his gifts; throw them back in his face and tell him what a cheat and a liar he is then walk away. You can do it.

He Talks About Himself, Without Trying To Get To Know You​

He Talks About Himself, Without Trying To Get To Know You​

He talks about himself, without trying to get to know you because he is not interested in you; he is only interested in what you can give him. There is nothing he wants to know about you other than your bra size and what kind of underwear you have got on. He is a player which means he wants sex with you but without the ties. He will not want to settle down with you, he will not want to marry you and he won't even use the term girlfriend. He is ignorant of your wants and needs. He will not be bothered that he knows nothing about you. It would be a mistake for you to stay in this one sided relationship. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, stand tall and head for the door. Walk away and never look back. You can do it.

​He Is Manipulative

He Is Manipulative

He is manipulative and gets his own way all of the time. A player acts like a spoiled brat. When things do not go his way, you are the first to know about it. He will moan to you about what it is he wants you to do for him. He wants to be pampered and worshiped. He wants you to look up to him and wants you to hang on to his every word. When he wants something from you, he will get it.

Another way of how to spot a player is that they are very manipulative, he has had years of practice on other women, he knows what to say to get you to do anything and everything for him. You will become his dogsbody, never getting anything back in return for your efforts. Do not let this happen, you do not deserve to be treated like a dogsbody. Do not let his manipulative personality drag you down. Get out of this horrible relationship now. You deserve better. You can do it.

Sonya Schwartz
 

A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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