It is hard to let go of someone you love. Difficult to think you’re no longer together and that your ex gets on without you. Reason being that it feels as if your world has fallen apart and life’s no longer worth living without him. But how to move on when you still love your ex?
Dealing with the loss of love can have dire consequences for a person making them listless and empty, without purpose to live. It can lead to complications such as depression and at times, be the cause of death through suicide.
Something as explosive as this needs to be handled properly by finding ways to cope once it’s over. You don’t want your entire life to fall apart from the fact that your ex does not reciprocate your love, right?
Here then are some ways for you to make use of to get on with your life while you still love your ex.
ACCEPT IT’S OVER AND FORGE AHEAD
It is official; the painful truth is that your ex is not coming back. You’ve probably done all you can to try to get him back to no avail. No amount of tears helps, and you are left to find ways to forget the one who has been part of you.
If you can get yourself to let the facts sink in and find the will to move ahead it will help a great deal in moving on. Healing begins with acceptance of whatever gets handed down to you by life. Including not being together with your ex anymore.
LET HIM GO
If you love him, let him go. If he comes back, it was meant to be. This old adage makes a huge sense when seeking strength to loosen the reigns, so allow your ex to go. It comes from understanding the need to offer freedom to your ex to make up his mind.
So far you’ve done everything you could to try to win him back. So far, however, it feels as if you repeatedly keep knocking a wall of stone and you now want destiny to take over. You resign to fate and what it has for you.
This is not so much a choice you make as the fact you do not have an alternative in the matter. There’s little else left for you to do at this point, rather than let the tide keep flowing, take your ex with it.
FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET YOUR EX BACK
One thing that helps you deal with not being together is the fact you’ve done all that you could to get your ex back. You know deep inside there’s nothing you did not do to try to keep love alive.
It gives you the satisfaction of having done your best, and you do not live in remorse, wondering if you should not have done more at the time. Fight till you can't fight anymore with all what you can before giving in to the situation.
Whatever way it goes after that, you’ll be comfortable knowing that you did the best to try and save the situation. The peace of mind is important if you are to survive the pain of letting your ex go in the end.
CHANNEL YOUR ENERGIES ELSEWHERE
It feels like there’s no longer need to continue but believe me, there is life after the breakup with your ex. It’s hard enough you love him still but hey, common on, life has to continue. Even without your spouse in it.
Other areas of life require the energy you previously used to love your ex. Your job for instance and you can put in extra power into it now. Perhaps this is the break your career needs to realize your dream in life.
You could also take the time to open yourself to a new friendship with those around you. Have more time for friends and so open a world of possibilities. Or get involved in self-development to make your life better.
CLEAR HIS STUFF
You probably have things around your place that reminds you of times with your ex. Whether you like it or not this serves as a memory of your ex and needs to go. Send back the personal stuff and donate to charity stuff he gave you as gifts.
There’s a link between his stuff and your feelings for him and should not be ignored if you’re trying to get over him. Tuck it away someplace, if need be but make sure you don’t have his things littered around you anymore.
You might want to keep the sentimental stuff but think of the arrows of pain that shoot through your heart each time you remember the special moments. Now is not the time to keep torturing yourself, therefore get rid of anything that evokes the memories.
INVOLVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Your family loves you and would love to see you back on your feet again. So do friends, and they are available to help you whether times of loneliness. Reach out to them to help you get back to your feet.
Only knowing you have people that are committed to your wellbeing helps a great deal when trying to find balance in life. Such as when trying to forget the person who still has your heart.
The most torturous moments are times you spend on your own and so avoid being alone when you can. You can move back home for some time or ask a friend over to your place for some time.
MAKE TIME JUST FOR YOU
You probably didn’t have it before, but now you have the time just for you. You deserve it too, especially after what you’ve been through. During the period when you grapple with unrequited love spend the time loving you.
The fact that your ex no longer loves you don’t mean all is over for you. You still have you at the very least, and this is a good time to pamper yourself. Adopt a healthy diet and keep the stress away to have a meaningful life from then on.
People that care for themselves are more likely to attract love. Even though your ex is not in the picture any longer, you should maintain yourself in such a way as to stay open to the possibility of new attachments.
CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY
One thing you should keep in mind is the fact that you control your reaction to what takes place around you. This is in the way you respond to circumstances including those that are beyond your control.
The choice to stay happy comes from the understanding that life has to continue despite what takes place. You can be happy despite all what goes on around you if you strengthen your will to be happy.
It’s a choice you make to be happy even when your heart craves for your ex, and it seems there’s little hope for a reunion. Since you cannot control all that happens to you, let happiness be the tool you use to get through the situation.
OPEN UP TO NEW POSSIBILITIES
Perhaps it feels like your world has ended as you keep longing for your ex for days on end. You need to find ways to survive; a good idea is to consider new opportunities ahead of you.
Perhaps there is something you’ve always wanted to do, why not make the time to do it now? Could be a new hobby you’d like to pursue or even a talent you need to develop. Whatever the case, see this as the opportune time to explore new things and set out to discover new possibilities.
This is a good way as any to avoid getting depressed over lost love, and it breathes a fresh beginning in life. Open the door to fresh possibilities, and you could end up having a whole new world ahead of you.
It’s not easy to get on with life with the loss of love hanging heavily over your head. It kind of feels as like a struggle to survive loving someone who does not love you back. Your ex still has a hold over you, and it is up to you to cut the links.
No doubt you wish more than anything else to have him back with you. However, the fact it's not happened yet should open your mind; help you see the reality of life. Which is that your ex is in your past now and all that remains are memories of the past.
You still love him, but the fact he does not return your feelings means it is no longer the same again. Yours is a one-sided love which only has you interested in your ex. This is a good time for you to determine you will pull through, no matter what.
If you look hard enough, you will find a way to be able to move on despite still hanging on to love for your ex. When you do, you’ll have succeeded in conquering one of the most stressful periods of your life.
As a pragmatic woman, Roxana didn't focus much on the matters of heart until falling head over hills for the wrong guy. After a devastating relationship, she studied the dynamics of dating and man's behavior to understand what went wrong. Her path drifted from science to letters, with the aim to share her knowledge with other women in need. She is now a contributor to Her Aspiration.