You are probably wondering how to get over him, the guy who got you head over heels in love with him only for his interest to start waning not so long after you got hooked. If it is of any comfort to you, know you are probably one of the many ladies out there trying to get back on their feet after things went awry in a relationship they were involved in.
I mean, things go wrong where matters of heart are involved and it’s not an easy thing to get over it and move on with life.
That’s if you still have the heart to consider there is life after it’s over with the one your heart still beats for. For some, it requires quite some time to be able to think in that direction once again.
Some rare ones never quite recover from lost love after they lose the one closest to their heart. You probably know a song or two composed out of the loss of love which pulls at the strings of the heart anytime you hear it. All which goes to prove how difficult it can be for one to get over someone they loved.
WHY SHOULD YOU GET OVER HIM?
Many ladies, me included are guilty of handling breakup the wrong way thus landing them into more emotional turmoil.
Trust me, having survived several breakups before getting where I am today am certain of the fact. At one time I found myself unable to let go of a guy I dated and ended up pulling some foolish stunts to try to win him back. Including constantly flooding him with messages of unending love.
Needless to say, this only made things worse since he’d already moved on leaving me to deal with the hurt alone. Were it not for my friends who stepped in, made me see things for what they were I might still be begging the guy to take me back to this day. Quite a futile attempt as he got hitched to someone else soon after that.
My advice after a breakup is doing all you can to forget him so you can have a chance for a new start.
Might take a while to even consider having fun another way or even going out again but in the meantime, you need to find a way to bury memories of him. It is a process and may take some time depending on the type of person that you are but do not let go of the fact you need to get over him.
No matter what it takes you owe it to yourself to let the man off your mind so as to make room for someone new in your life. So how are you to go about getting over the man who meant so much to you after it’s over between you two? What does it take for you to get over the times you spent together and the special memories of you both as a couple? I’ve got a couple of tips to share with you to make the breakup easier on you.
7 BEST WAYS TO GET OVER HIM
GIVE YOURSELF A TREAT – YOU NEED IT.
It’s finally dawned you’ll no longer be seeing each other with the man you’ve been dating. Perhaps you both managed to end it amicably but that’s not to say the pain from the split does not haunt you still. Or perhaps the breakup was an ugly one, leaving you reeling from the effect.
Whatever the case, one of the ways for you to get over him is going out to give yourself a treat. A treat you ask? That’s right, go on do something you really enjoy. It might be to go for a good massage to rid yourself of stress build up or going away someplace for some alone time for a while.
How about a visit to your aunt who lives in the country? Whatever your style go ahead do something just for you that leaves you feeling rejuvenated! I can’t count the number of times a good massage has come to my aid when a relationship I was involved in went sour. Some personal attention sure does help set one back on the road once more.
So, go on, treat yourself to what you enjoy most to help the healing take place in a faster way.
A sure way to be able to get him off your mind is by staying occupied all the time. You probably have your day taken working to make a living or are involved with your major day activity but then what happens when evening comes and you are all alone at home for the night?
I know some people who opted to spend more time at work to avoid long hours at home alone so you might want to consider that too. After all, hours after dark have a way of stretching when you have nothing exciting lined up ahead of you.
To beat spending time mulling over him you can take up an added activity such as learning a new language in the evenings or you can also hit the gym.
There’s no lack of activities for you to take part in order to keep yourself busy therefore be sure to engage yourself in the time you would otherwise spend by yourself. If you are the sociable kind there’s no better time to hang out with friends and meet new ones such as when you are trying to get him off your mind.
Go on then, keep yourself occupied and cut back on time spent by yourself and you’ll soon have little time to think over him. It will help you fall asleep faster the moment your head hits the pillow when it's time to go to bed.
One method I find useful to help rid myself of any troubling thoughts is cleaning. It feels great to thoroughly clean the entire house while my favorite music plays in the background.
Considering it's been said that cleaning can be therapeutic you might want to consider taking some time to make sure all areas of your house are spick and span. Besides the benefit of a clean environment, you also have your mind occupied with the task as you get on with it. Why don’t you throw on your apron and get down those areas covered with the dust of weeks ago?
How about a new arrangement for some of your rooms to give them a new feel? Discover what good storage for unfolded laundry the love seat might be in the process.
You find there’ll be room for the new and you can also put away anything that reminds you of him while at it. Perhaps send it back or stash away in the basement before you decide if to retain it after all.
CUT OFF COMMUNICATION
You most likely follow him on social media and it might be hard for you not to check how he’s getting on after the breakup with you. Not to mention you have common friends who are willing to keep you up to date on what he’s doing.
If that’s the case do yourself a favor and unfollow him on social media to spare yourself further details of what is going on with him. Avoid the temptation of stalking the man you are trying to forget and instead work at getting off his circles. Regular contact might have you back in a place you don’t wish to go therefore keep away from all form of communication with him.
That’s unless the two of you intend to remain friends afterward in which case you might want to take some time away before going that way. The worst case scenario is for you to call the guy to try and get back together.
Keep in mind it takes the two of you to have a relationship, therefore, no use parading yourself as desperate in the attempt to patch things up between you two. Safe if you avoid him altogether so you can think things more rationally over time.
TRASH THE GIFTS
Know that cute teddy bear that sits at your bedside table that he got you for your birthday a year ago? The one that reminds you of what took place that night after he took you out to celebrate the day? Well, if you have to cease thoughts of him you will have to let it go as well.
You don’t have to do it on the first night after you break up but can slowly find the strength to detach from it over time. Nothing works to bring back memories than those special gifts given while feelings were going strong.
Spare yourself the trouble of falling apart each time you look at any such and stash it away from your view or give it away to someone. If you have the heart you can toss it in the dustbin to help cut off the emotional attachment. It happened with my college sweetheart after we broke up soon after high school.
Since I could not bear to think it was over, I decided to get rid of anything that reminded me of him. Up went the sweet notes stored in a special box in flames as well as any other reminder of the guy. Lucky thing his family moved away to another state as I might otherwise have had trouble keeping away from him.
Be sure to do the same no matter the temptation to retain those special items you shared.
MAKE NEW FRIENDS
If you have common friends with the guy you are trying to forget it could turn out hard for you to get him out of your mind. Friends will no doubt tell you what’s going on with him and each time this happens it takes you back a couple of steps.
You do not want to spend some lonely times especially at the time so why don’t you go in search of some new friends?
There are plenty of places for you to meet new people depending on your interests so do not hesitate to go in search of a few. Friends can help you get over him quite easily since they are available when you need company and might share common interests with you.
While at it you might consider reuniting with your old friends. People from your past help to remind you that you are still lovable, despite what has happened on the relationship scene. There, go ahead make a few calls and you do not have to spend lonely weekends alone now that you are no longer together with the guy. Friends turn out useful to fulfill your need to connect with someone else.
ALLOW THE TEARS ONCE IN A WHILE
Falling out with someone you love can feel as though the universe has stopped. Immense feelings of sadness can take over one rendering them unable to go on with normal routine.
According to science love turns on the feel-good feeling that is addictive to the mind. When you are in love the feeling of being top of the world is not something you even want to consider. Should a breakup happen for you and the one you love your brain gets starved of the addiction to love leaving you feeling as if the light has gone out around you.
During such times it is useful for you to let the tears flow; after all, you’ve suffered loss like any other. You will find that attempt to bottle up feelings only makes things worse so why don’t you get release by having a good cry instead? It is just a matter of time and the storm will blow over leaving you better able to move on. Do not hold back; let the tears flow as you mourn and move on to recovery after that.
Time after a breakup can be spent to find yourself again. More so, if you put it into positive use instead of beating yourself up about what has happened. How fast you recover from the breakup depends on what support system you have and for the loners how you spend time alone after that.
The bottom line is for you to remember that the guy no longer has interest in you, therefore, quit hoping he will come crawling back, begging you to take him back. That only happens in the movies and rarely happens in real life situations. Therefore, do all what you can to ensure you get on with life after him.
Breaking up with a man who previously held a huge place in your heart is hard for anyone. Yet if you focus on getting over him you are sure to find ways to keep him out of mind.
This might include going out some more to make new connections or strengthening the ones that already exist. And while at it you might find ways to have some fun as well. It might seem as if there’s no life after him but believe me, there are other ways for you to have fun without involving him.
Why don’t you keep an open mind, find what life has to offer besides being in love? You will find that it takes shorter for you to move on if you take things positively from the start.
At some point in your life, you will have to deal with a breakup or even help a friend get over one.
Whether puppy love or the real thing that had you thinking you were headed to the altar the feeling of loss presents in much the same way. Having someone you love no longer in love with you can strip you of the confidence of knowing someone cares deeply about you. It could cause you to think there’s no hope of finding love again causing you to lose meaning in all else. Including daily activities such as work or even school.
You need to be careful in the way you handle that phase in your life so you do not mar future chances. No doubt you will get over it no matter how long it takes for you to do so. Take up the best method to help you get on with life after that.
Accept it is over between you two and resist hanging on what is over already. Doing so will only make you spend more time on something that does not exist any longer instead of paving way for a new beginning.
Now that you have broken up with the man you loved its time for you to get up, brush off the dust and get moving towards finding new happiness another way. Even if you do not find another love soon after that you will be able to form meaningful relations with people to help you get over him. Or point you in another direction where true love might be waiting for you to find it just around the corner.
As a pragmatic woman, Roxana didn't focus much on the matters of heart until falling head over hills for the wrong guy. After a devastating relationship, she studied the dynamics of dating and man's behavior to understand what went wrong. Her path drifted from science to letters, with the aim to share her knowledge with other women in need. She is now a contributor to Her Aspiration.