Are you wondering if your ex boyfriend still loves you?
Or perhaps you're still in a relationship with your boyfriend or husband but aren't sure whether he's still in love with you?
Maybe you still have strong feelings for him and it hurts you that he doesn't reciprocate with the same feelings?
If so, keep on reading as I may have a solution for you…
However, the first thing you need to rule out is whether he's currently seeing someone else (or cheating on you in case you're still in a relationship).
Even if he says he isn't, he's likely covering it up so it's extremely important that you investigate a little on your own to rule that out.
I recommend using a good online background checker (click here to check it out).
Just enter his name and other details and this tool will show you places he's been recently, and people that he's frequently communicating with, which will allow you to draw your own conclusion as to if he's seeing someone else (or cheating on you).
It turns out that some women even discovered that the man they were dating for many years were already married.
Isn't that crazy!?
Once you've ruled that out using this online background checker, it's time to dig a little deeper but first I'd like to share my personal story a little bit…
My Personal Story: Does He Still Love Me?
- 1 My Personal Story: Does He Still Love Me?
- 2 Things You Need To Think About First
- 3 Sneaky Signs Your Ex-Boyfriend Wants You Back
- 3.1 He Calls or Texts You
- 3.2 He’s Been Following You
- 3.3 His Reaction When He Sees You
- 3.4 He Keeps in Touch With Your Friends And Family
- 3.5 Touching
- 3.6 Emotions
- 3.7 They Are Acting Competitively
- 3.8 Push/Pull Behavior
- 3.9 Drunken Dialing
- 3.10 Contacting You During The No Contact Period
- 3.11 He Misses You
- 3.12 His Friends Tell You He Is Miserable
- 3.13 He Regularly Bumps Into You
- 3.14 He’s On The Rebound
- 3.15 He Hasn’t Dated Anyone In A Long Time
- 3.16 He Regularly Talks About The Past
- 3.17 His Facebook Statues Are Usually Sad
- 4 What To Do If He Still Loves You
Break ups can be a stressful experience, especially when your ex is giving you mixed messages or isn't being honest about how he feels. Most men during a break up will say many things but most of which won't actually be won't they are truly feeling. For example, a man might say text you while he is drunk but will then ignore your call the next day.
In the early stages of my relationship with my man before we were married, we broke up after quite a serious argument. I moved back in with my mum and I remember my guy would keep coming round to see me but at the same time telling me that he needed space. It was just a weird time and I was so confused as to whether the relationship was over or whether he still loved me and wanted to be with me. I couldn't really do much but to go along with the journey until he decided whether he wanted to be with me or not. I knew that I wanted to be with him and so I had to just let him go through the emotions.
Fortunately for me, we back to each other and rebuilt our relationship on an even stronger foundation with a stronger understanding of each other. Sometimes a break up doesn't mean that the relationship is over for good. It could be a learning curve for both you to be able to agree on making changes to make it work so you're both happy.
Things You Need To Think About First
Before you try and decide whether your ex still loves and wants to be with you, you will need to decide yourself first whether you love him and want to be with him. There was never any doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with my man when we broke up many years ago,I just wasn't sure what he wanted because of the many different messages he was giving me.
There is no point in driving yourself crazy trying to find out if your ex still loves you if you don't even want the relationship to start again. Have a serious think about what you want and if that is to not be with him, then gently finalize this with your ex so he can try and move on himself. If however you decide that you'd still like to be with your ex then just be a support block for when he needs to talk and hash it out. If you're sure that he still has feelings for you and cares for you then you can perhaps talk to him about how you feel to make it easier for him.
Only do this though if you are quite certain that he still loves you and wants to be with you. At this point, rejection isn't something you want to experience after being honest. To help you determine whether your ex still loves you, I have put together some sneaky signs he might be giving you.
Sneaky Signs Your Ex-Boyfriend Wants You Back
Now that you have decided that you want to be with your ex and still love him, it's time to find out whether he is feeling the same way but is still confused between what his heart is telling him and what his mind is telling him. I have listed 17 ways in which you can find out whether your man still has feelings for you. He doesn't necessarily have to be doing them all but if he is doing a few of them then for certain, he still loves you.
If you find out that your man still loves you then that doesn't mean you can control the situation and force him to see that he still loves you. He must go through this thinking himself and decide for himself what he wants to do. The best thing you can do is to be there for him when he wants to talk and make it comfortable for him to do so. If you shut him down or get overly excited when he gives the slightest hint at wanting to be with you then he may not open up to you again. Simply listen to him and when the time is right, reassure him that you want to be with him to make the decision easier for him by not being scared of rejection.
Lets get started with some signs that your ex may still love you and want to be in a relationship with you again:
He Calls or Texts You
This is one of the most common and easy to read signs that a man can give when he still loves you. If he calls you at a random time to talk or to ask you a question that didn't really need a phone call about then it is a sign that he just trying to find excuses to pick up the phone and talk to you. If you still love your man then go through this emotion with him by carrying the conversation further and asking how is mum is or what happened with the job promotion he was up for. The same goes for if he texts you. Make sure to text back and be friendly and ask how hes doing to try and get him to start talking to you about his feelings but in a more subtle way.
If your ex calls or texts you about getting his stuff back then that is something different and doesn't mean that he is finding an excuse to talk to you. It could just mean that he needs his stuff back. A man who is looking for an excuse to talk to you might call or text and ask what episode you both last watched. This is a question that is valid however he could easily find out the answer by looking at the episode guide on IMDB. This means that he has just found an excuse to call or text you which also gives a good opportunity to start a casual conversation with him.
He’s Been Following You
This sounds a little creepy but really it isn't. I don't mean that your ex is following you around the streets or watching you while you sleep; I mean that he is watching and following what you are doing on social media. I had an ex who Liked almost every status I posted on Facebook and even added the odd comment. This would have been great if I still loved the guy as it would have been a great starting point for me to get the conversation about possibly getting back together. I had already moved on though and knew that it was a relationship I didn't want to get back into.
If your ex is following you on social media then it is a good sign that he is still into you and wants to feel still involved in your life. If you notice that he Likes some of your posts then maybe drop him a text and see how hes getting on and ask about something that was happening before you broke up such as a promotion or his new car. Texting after he has Like'd a photo will mean that the conversation was initiated by him and not you forcing him talk out of the blue. If he comments on asocial post then don't be afraid to reply to make him comfortable to hopefully pick up the phone next time.
His Reaction When He Sees You
If you bump into him at a supermarket or you see him on a night out then play close attention to how he reacts. The way he reacts will give you a glimpse into his true feelings as surprise is an almost impossible emotion to shake.
If you see your ex on a night out and he sees you and his initial reaction is to turn the other way and carry on doing whatever it is he was doing, he probably doesn't want to be with you anymore. If however you see your man on a night out and his reaction is to come over and say hi or act quite nervously then it is a sign that he is still into you. If your ex does come over then be a little flirty but not overly flirty and if he gives you indication that he would like to talk more then suggest going for a coffee instead.
If you bump into your ex at the supermarket and his initial reaction is to run away then I'm sure you know that it isn't a good sign. If however his reaction is that of pleasure and he ask how you are then he is still interested in you and cares for you. Again, make sure to try and carry the conversation and ask him how he's doing and whether he managed to finish that assignment he was dreading.
He Keeps in Touch With Your Friends And Family
One of the more obvious signs that your ex still wants to be with you is if he stays in touch with your friends and family. If a man is serious about a break up then he will have no qualm in breaking all ties in order for him to move on. I remember a girlfriend my brother used to date would always tell me that well be friends even if the relationship never worked out…I never saw her once after they broke up. My other brother on the other hand recently broke up with his girlfriend and after a week or two; he told me that he had gone round to her mums to see how she was. I knew at that point that he still wanted to be with his girlfriend and that he deeply cares for her. They are back together now and dating rather than living with each as they were before but I'm happy for them.
If your man still sometimes talks to your family or friends, whether it is your mum, brother or girlfriend then it is a good sign he still has feeling for you and cares for you. Next time a family member or friend tells you he has been I touch, drop him a text or call him and ask how he is doing.This will give him a good opportunity to open up to you and tell you what he is feeling and what is in his mind as the two could be very different.
If you do in fact bump into your ex or see him on a night out then a positive sign that he is still into you is if he is touches you. For example, he may touch you on the arm when saying hi or he may even go as far as to give you hug. This is a good sign and it gives you the ok to touch him too.
This doesn't have to just be for when you bump into each other neither. If you and your ex decide to sit down and have an honest conversation, keep a close eye as to whether he touches you or whether he keeps his hands firmly to himself. When me and my partner broke up many years, I remember him coming round to my mums house to see me and would hug me longer than any time he had done before as if he didn't want to let me go. It was weird because while he was doing this he would tell me that something different to his actions. Obviously we got back together because were married now which is why I believe touching is just as important sign as the words that he is saying…sometimes even more important.
If your man holds your hand when talking, touches your arm or is giving you a hug then he is finding it hard to let you go because he still loves you. His heart is probably fighting with his mind which is why he could be hugging you while saying something that is the opposite to his actions.
Many women often mistake their ex's angry and hateful behavior to mean that they don't love the many more. This isn't necessarily true because they reacting this way because they are hurt and you can only be hurt by someone if you have feelings for them or love them. If your ex is taking the breakup well and is acting normal then he may have already moved on and not love you anymore. If however your ex is showing negative emotions then it means he is hurt which means he may still love you.
If your ex is filled with negative at the moment, there isn't much you can do at this point but to give him time and space and let those negative emotions subside. Only time will see the end of any negative emotions so don't try and force your ex to talk to you during this time. After a while, the negative emotions will subside and your ex will start remember all the good times you had and will realize for himself that he does actually still love you.
At this point, he may make contact with you in which you can then be his shoulder to lean on and let him open up to you. I hear about relationships ending and the woman trying desperately to win their man back by constantly trying to speak to him and it leading to the man moving further away rather than towards. It is ok and even good to give your ex some time and space to think things through himself.
They Are Acting Competitively
If you notice that your man is constantly posting pictures of him out with girls or if he is constantly boasting about all the things he is doing with his new girlfriend on Facebook then you may be surprised to hear that may still love you. This kind of behavior is quite common during beak ups and it is his attempt to make you jealous.
The worst thing you can do if your ex is acting competitively is to act competitively yourself. This would build up a negative atmosphere and cause of arguments if you ever did get back together. The best thing to do is focus on improving your own life. While he is acting childish and posting pictures if girls on his Facebook, you could be posting about a job promotion, a new car or apartment, new hobby and even how much weight you've lost. All of these are positive things that help to improve your life. Your ex will soon see what he has left behind and will immediately want to gain your attention back.
Whatever you do, don't stoop down to his level as you will only make things worse and push your ex further away. This works both ways too so if you still love your ex but don't like the way he is throwing himself around so many women and acting competitively during a break up, maybe it is time to rethink whether you want to ever be with him again.
This was one of the signs that my man gave when we broke up for a while years ago. The push/pull behavior is when your man is being very cold towards you one minute and the next minute he wants to you. If you're going through this, I feel your pain as I know first-hand how frustrating and confusing it can be.
I remember when me and my man has split up, one day he didn't want to know me and was quite nasty while the next day he wanted to see me and talk and hug. My head was all over the place because I didn't know whether to be excited that we might get back together or upset because we will never be together. It was such a weird time but luckily enough, everything worked out for me in the end.
If your ex is behaving like this too then it means that he is really confused about his feelings and what he wants to do. The only thing you can do is this situation is to just be there when he is ready to talk or when he wants to be with you and don't make contact with him when wants space to think. Basically when he is cold you be cold and when he is warm you be warm.
This is one of the more obvious signs which many men and women have done during break ups. You hear people joking about making their friends take their phone off them if they get too drunk so that they don't drunken dial their ex. If you receive a call from your ex while he is intoxicated, don't take everything he says for granted. For example, he could tell you that he wants to be with you forever or loves you more than the world when he is drunk but then the next week you don't hear anything from him. You don't want to leave yourself vulnerable by getting your hopes up only to be disappointed. If your man goes cold for the next week after confessing his love when drunk, doesn't mean that he didn't mean it.
Whatever you do, don't reveal how you feel or confess your love to him when he has called you when drunk. He will know then that he still has you the next day and will give him the upper hand. If he called drunkenly and asks how you feel about him, tell him that he is drunk and that you'll talk about it in the morning. No matter how much he asks about your feelings or whether you love him,do not tell him. If he is serious about talking, he will call the next day.
Contacting You During The No Contact Period
The best way to be able to tell whether your ex still loves you is by having a no contact period. This means that you make no attempt whatsoever (yes that includes Liking any social posts too) to make contact with him for a number of weeks. If he doesn't attempt to make contact with you in that time, then it may be that he is happy to move on and doesn't love you. However if your ex contacts you during the no contact period then he may still love you and want you back.
Doing the no contact period is a lot harder than it sounds because if you still love your ex, you'll miss him and naturally want to talk to him. You have to try with all your might not to break the no contact period otherwise this won't work. Hopefully you wont have to wait that long if you ex breaks the no contact period but if he doesn't…you could be in for a long and torturous wait.
I recommend setting your no contact period for at least 30 days. If your ex loves you, he will certainly be in contact before then end of that time. When me and my man broke up, he made the first contact within a week.
He Misses You
Many men feel that they can't show emotion because for one reason or another, they feel it makes them less manly. This is why trying to find out what he is really feeling is made to be a challenge for us women. When that man becomes your ex, finding out what he is feeling becomes ten times harder.
If there is one thing that you can count on for certain though is if he calls to check on you. This is a clear indication that he still cares for you and doesn't want to miss out on what is happening in your life. This is his way of letting you know that he still loves you and cares for you. If he is doing this and you're happy for him to do this then reciprocate by telling him how you are and asking how he is.
If your ex doesn't call or text to see how you are doing then he more than likely has either moved on or is feeling heartbroken. In either case, you cannot know for certain whether or not he still loves you. Stick to the no contact rule I spoke about earlier and you'll soon find out whether your ex still loves you or not.
When telling him how you are doing, drop a little hint that you're thinking of him and missing him. Don't come right out and say it though as you will pressurizing him to respond. Just say something like you were thinking of him the other day when you were watching your favorite program.
His Friends Tell You He Is Miserable
If there was ever a clear sign that your ex still loves you, its if his friends or family tells you how miserable he has been since you broke up. They will know more than you at this point and so listen closely to what they tell you. They might not come right out and tell you that he is missing you or still loves you but if they say that he is miserable and not himself lately then you can certainly assume that he is unhappy without you in his life.
The reason why you can have a strong assumption that he still loves you is because a man will only open up to his mates this way if he truly is devastated. Men don't ever really talk about feelings when they're hanging out which is why when they do, it is because it is something that is deeply troubling them.
If one of his friends has told how miserable he is then you need to do things differently than in the other signs I've explained. This time you need to chase him by bumping into him. If you know that he goes the gym every Wednesday evening then head to the gym on that same day and time and bump into him. When you bump into him, make sure to smile, be friendly and give him a compliment such as how good he looks.
He Regularly Bumps Into You
Talking about bumping into each other, another sign that your ex still loves you is if he coincidentally bumps into you quite often. It could be that you go to the same coffee shop before work each morning or if you take the dogs for a walk in the same park every evening. If your ex knows your favorite places to go then he isn't accidentally bumping into you, hes doing it on purpose because he misses you.
Don't make the conversation serious at this point as you want him to carry on missing the happy times you both had. Ask how he is and how his family is. You can also talk about some good memories you have together which will do well to remind him of your happier times.
He’s On The Rebound
For some guys, the only way they can feel they are getting over a relationship is if they almost immediately start dating again. This is what we all like to call the rebound phase. This isn't 100% true all of the time though as some can actually find love that quick. However there is a very high chance that him immediately dating someone is a rebound girl.
While seeing your ex dating someone so quickly will hurt you deeply and make you feel that he is over you, it could very well mean something else and have a much deeper meaning. Him being on the rebound could mean that he is actually missing you and is trying to replace you or the feeling of being with you by immediately dating someone else. Of course there is nobody in the world who is like you which he will quickly come to realize.
You'll know if your ex is on the rebound if he still tries to make contact with you while dating someone else and also if he still doesn't seem happy in this new relationship. Another way to tell whether it is a rebound is when it ends as rebounds don't last very long.
He Hasn’t Dated Anyone In A Long Time
While most men will go on the rebound after a relationship, some men will do the complete opposite and not date anyone for a very long time. My brother is one of these types as when he broke up with his girlfriend a while ago, he was absolutely devastated. Those men who completely fall apart during a break up will not even be thinking of any other women but you and will not do so for a good while.
If your ex is still single after a while and seems genuinely sad most of the time, he is missing you and hasn't been able to get over you. This is because he still loves you. If you still love him then you need to let him know but in a subtle way. You can call or text him and ask how he's doing and how is family is doing. Or you could do the bumping into him method if you know where he will be at what times. When you do bump into him, make sure you look fantastic and smiling. He misses the happier times you both shared so being sad won't help him remind himself of that.
He Regularly Talks About The Past
If you do bump into each other or plan to meet up, another good way of telling whether he is still into you is if he constantly brings up the past and all the good memories you shared together. If your ex never brings up the arguments or had or the bad times but instead always talks about the good times and the happy memories, then he is still into you.
You can help win your ex back by going along with the trip down memory lane and laughing at the funnier memories and be excitable at the happy memories. You can also help by mentioning a few happy memories that you cherish to subtly let him know that you also still love him.
Guys who have moved on will not regularly bring up happy memories or may never bring them up. I fact, they may never bring up any memory whether it is positive or negative. If this is the case then he has almost certainly moved on. You can also test this theory to find out if your ex still loves you by bringing up a happy memory next time he calls or texts you. If he reciprocates and talks about other happy memories and laughs along with you then you will know that he still loves you.
His Facebook Statues Are Usually Sad
Facebook can sometimes be the thing that is wrong with relationships but it can also sometimes be the best thing ever. This is especially true when you want to watch how your ex is dealing with the break up. Facebook didn't even exist when I broke up with my man many years ago (I know, now I sound really old) so I couldn't use this tools to get an insight into how my man was feeling during the break up.
Now that you do have Facebook and your ex hasn't blocked you, you will be able to tell whether your ex has moved on or whether he misses you. You will be able to know if your ex still misses you if he regularly posts sad statuses. I knew my brother had broken up with his girlfriend when I seen a string of sad statuses on his Facebook profile. I'm pretty sure that his girlfriend seen it too.
If you notice that your ex is regularly posting sad statuses then why not drop him a text and ask how he is doing and see if he will open up about how he is really feeling.
What To Do If He Still Loves You
Whatever way you find out, if you find out that your ex still loves you then you need to decide what to do next. You should already know whether you still love him at this point if you have gone through the lengths of finding out whether he still loves you. Now that you have found out that he loves you back, what do you do?
You can make light conversation, talk about the happier times and be warm and friendly. Let your ex take the lead and reciprocate. For example, when he decides to open and talk about the relationship and breakup a bit deeper then make the conversation more serious. If your ex wants to remember the happier times and casually talk for now then do that. Whatever you do, don't get angry or defensive as this may shit him down and wont open up to you again.
I really hope you get what you want and if that's to get your ex back in your life then I hope you get him.
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr “Right” and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here…