Last Updated on
Do you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t trust you? Are you constantly wondering why not? Is it getting to be a major problem in your relationship? I have been in a relationship before and I kept wondering why my boyfriend doesn’t trust me. I wanted to know what it meant.
That’s exactly why I put this topic together. I think it’s important for you to understand why your boyfriend might not trust you and what it means for your relationship.
He’s Been Hurt Before
If your boyfriend has been hurt by someone before, he’s naturally going to be a little bit cautious going into a new relationship. He has to learn to trust people again.
Maybe his ex-girlfriend lied to him or cheated on him. She might have done something behind his back and he found out. Him not trusting you is a common response to those previous relationship issues.
Unfortunately, even though you didn’t do anything wrong, he may still have a hard time trusting you. This can be caused by his previous relationships and how they ended.
It’s important to think of some of the little things that might remind him of those situations. You don’t have to know all of the details, but you should be aware. You texting a guy could bring back bad memories because that’s what his ex-girlfriend was doing when she cheated.
Just think about some of those possibilities. Make sure you’re standing by your guy’s side. Try not to rush him through this process. It may take some time and effort for him to get over everything that happened. You can still earn his trust over time though!
He Has Trust Issues
Your boyfriend could have issues with trusting people in general. This wouldn’t only apply to you. He may not trust very many other people at all. This could be affecting your relationship as well his other friendships.
This lack of trust may be rooted in a number of different things. It could have to do with his family, a failed friendship, another relationship, or something else. The possibilities are endless.
You don’t need to pry and try to figure out what triggered these trust issues. Just know that he doesn’t trust easily for some reason, which means you will have to earn his trust.
If you’ve found out that he does have trust issues and that it’s nothing you did, you should just work on earning his trust. Show him that you’re deserving of this trust and that you won’t hurt him. This is probably what he needs and it will help your relationship as well.
Be patient as he works through these trust issues. It can be frustrating, but there’s not a lot you can do. Let him know that you’re supporting him and that he can trust you. This should make a little bit of a difference.
You Have Broken His Trust
If you have been unfaithful to your boyfriend and broken his trust at some point, he’s going to have a hard time trusting you again. He has been hurt by that situation and is being cautious. He doesn’t want to go through it again.
Though he should be forgiving, unfaithfulness in a relationship is a very hard thing to move past. He might forgive you, but he might need some time in order to trust you the same way again.
If you have cheated on your boyfriend, this is exactly why he doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t feel like he can because you went behind his back and were with someone else.
As you work through this as a couple, be patient with your boyfriend. This isn’t an overnight change and he probably needs your support. He needs you to earn the trust back, which may be tricky to do.
Put some effort into being there for your boyfriend and working to earn back the trust. It can be a good idea to ask him how to earn back the trust and what he would like you to do. This gesture can help you to get more trust.
Watch this video to see what to do after you’ve cheated on your boyfriend:
You Have Broken Someone Else’s Trust
When you and your boyfriend first started dating, you probably had a conversation about your past relationships. You might have talked about who you have dated, how long you were together, and more. This is normal to talk about.
If you have cheated on someone before, that might have come up in this initial conversation. Even a small act of unfaithfulness could have been mentioned.
Even if this cheating incident took place years ago, your current boyfriend may not trust you in this relationship. He might be worried that you will do the same thing to him.
Sometimes, no matter how many times you explain this, he may not understand that you’ve learned from your mistakes and that you’re committed. Just try to show him he can trust you and let him know you’ve moved on from those bad choices.
Once you break someone’s trust, it can be hard to repair it. In this case, though, your boyfriend would be concerned about you breaking someone else’s trust.
While he has a reason to be concerned, he should be understanding and listen to the fact that you know it was wrong. It may take some time to get to that point though.
He Suspects Something
Even if you haven’t broken his trust, he may worry that you will. He might have seen something on your phone that was alarming. It could have been as simple as a text message from a guy friend he didn’t know you had.
He might just think that you are hiding something. This can be the case even if you aren’t doing anything wrong.
Sometimes, when people are on their guard already, they see tiny, meaningless signs as being the truth. For example, you might have said something that made him suspicious of your faithfulness.
Because he was already concerned about you cheating on him, he may have taken it too far and turned it into a suspicion. Remember that this doesn’t have to be something bad that you did. It can be any minor thing that is just taken the wrong way.
Think about some of the actions you have done in the past few days or weeks. This may be hard to pinpoint so don’t obsess over it. Come up with some things, such as hiding your phone. This may have been unintentional or maybe you were planning a surprise for him. Try to clear it up.
Sometimes, there’s not a clear reason why your boyfriend doesn’t trust you. He could just be worried about what could happen. This may not be triggered by anything specific.
He probably realizes how often cheating occurs in relationships. He wants to make sure it doesn’t happen to him too. This is a normal feeling. Who wants to be cheated on? Your boyfriend might just be taking it further than some people would.
Some people are just natural worriers. They are anxious about certain situations or feelings. He may be concerned that you would cheat on him and wants to be aware of that potential situation.
This may not make sense to you if you haven’t been in his position or if you don’t get worried easily. You don’t have to fully understand it, but you should try to respect it.
If possible, find ways to help him relax. Show him that you care about him and remind him that you aren’t going to hurt him. Be patient as he works through these feelings.
These are strong emotions that he’s dealing with. You shouldn’t expect them to resolve immediately, but you should still love and support him.
He’s Heard a Rumor
Maybe your boyfriend has heard something about you and how you can’t be trusted. Somebody could have told him rumors about you and that is what is contributing to his lack of trust for you.
He may not know if these rumors are true or not. There’s not a great way for him to find out, especially if he doesn’t fully trust you yet. He could ask you, but he wouldn’t know whether you are telling the truth.
Rumors and lies can destroy relationships as much as real infidelity can. Your boyfriend probably doesn’t know who to believe in this situation. He’s probably really confused and hurt too.
You might have gotten in a fight with an old friend years ago, but they decided to make things up about you to ruin your potential relationship. These rumors could be coming from somebody else who wants to date your boyfriend too.
Just do your part to clear up these rumors, but you may not be able to do much. It may be out of your control.
This video shows some of the ways you can stop rumors from being spread:
Your boyfriend might not trust you for any of the above reasons. There are plenty of other, more specific reasons for his lack of trust. You should try to figure out what’s going on. Be understanding during this time. Then, support him and show him that he can actually trust you.
Leave a comment down below if you have any questions for us!
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr “Right” and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here…